I just lay here awake of thinking of the things

Night Owls
#1

I just lay here awake of thinking of the things i need to do, and feeling like im not doing enough to put my life back together for me and my kids. I feel like they deserve so much better. I feel so alone in this sobriety journey, i know i wont use, it just sucks to not have any friend and only have my daughter to talk to… i hate that i cant shut my brain off at night

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#2

Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re sober for your kids; that’s bigger than you realize! Try writing things down-make lists of things you need to do. Working out for me is where I clear my head. You got this.

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#3

Hey Heather,
Maybe get a sponsor if you don't have one? I feel like this would be a good time to call them say what's going on and have someone to talk too. Also maybe meetings and get phone numbers, that might help with sober friends and multiple people to talk to and in turn help with the thoughts at night and such. I know it helped me I have the same problem my mind doesn't take a break ever. Just an idea, I hope it gets better and being there for your kids is HUGE don't forget that, they have Thier mom because you are staying sober!

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#4

Thanks to appreciate this, I’ve been thinking about getting a sponsor. I’ve only been to the online meeting so maybe I’ll try in person one! Thanks for the ideas, I’ve just really been struggling being the only parent and everything on my shoulders and not doing enough.

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#5

Thanks! I appreciate this!

#6

Hi Heather, I remember very well this feeling it wS last week. I've been sober for over 7 years. This feeling ebbs and flows. Having a goal in mind helps and making short term goals. The goal is to live for today but we need a plan on how to get there and stay there. A lot of people choose AA, I chose therapy. I still go religiously every week. I've just now started re-reading the big book of AA. What are your goals? Big and small and what needs to happen to achieve them. And from one mom to another it's ok to just focus on recovery, or just staying sober, and laughing with your kids. Sometimes it's all we have and it's enough.

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#7

Anytime! And being present for them is huge in itself you've got this one step at a time. And yeah meetings help me for sure, the online ones are tough for me. There's a big difference when you are there in person for me rather than online I get a lot more out of actually being there especially when I don't want to go and go anyway. Hang in there it will get better if you need to talk until you can find a sponsor I'm around.

1 Like
#8

Heather, you’re definitely not alone. I’ve come to realize that the human condition affects all of us. My mind is not always my friend.
In person meetings really helped me. Getting sponsored and doing the 12 steps were the key to my freedom from self. No pills or therapy ever helped me. I needed a solution that worked and that I could access.
I’m here if you want to talk or have any questions.

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#9

Thank you, I needed this!

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#10

Thank you!

#11

I read your original post and I feel the exact same way. You’re not alone and now I know I’m not either…

1 Like