I am sorry for your loss. There are others in your life who need you though. Please take care of yourself. There are grief groups and some are specific to how they died so can be more helpful. An antidepressant short term would be better for your brain than using as it will help, not leach dopamine and serotonin. You need to reach out for professional help before you get too lost.
Yes l will this isy first stop and l feel good hearing all thes positive vibes maybe this is what I needed to hear