I keep getting asked why why ain't you flipping out over the stuff that I'm doing to you they keep asking me why haven't you used why don't she think about getting high they keep asking me why I keep telling them the same thing when I was losing my mind nobody had my back but God when I was questioning asking them why were they doing this to me nobody had my back but God when I was flipping out and not understanding the purpose of the pain nobody had me but God is always been God that's been my strength I keep asking myself why did I have to go through this why are they taking me through this why don't they love me why don't they want me I had so many questions to unanswered questions and nobody would tell me why they decided to do this to me you can love somebody and they will still turn around and dog you out you can give all you can to family or promise to be there for family and they will do all they can to dog you out everybody just keeps asking why but they don't know the God that I serve when I got on my knees the last time and it's been years ago I beg God to take this away from me cuz I didn't understand why I was being hurt so badly then he took it and when I tell you he took it he took it I don't cry anymore I don't yell and scream and ask why anymore I don't beg and plead to be a part of anybody's life anymore I have so much peace in a world full of aggravation and chaos till it ain't even funny it said that all you need is the faith of a mustard seed or my faith is a little bit bigger than that it's all because of God I didn't save my life to let you take my life this is my heart of my testimony one day somebody is going to go through the same thing and they're going to need me and they're going to say if she can do it if she found the strength to do it if God helped her he would help me and you would be so right about everything all you need is a little bit of faith and believe in yourself but you got to know you well enough to know if you can make it I don't ask why anymore it's not my fault that you hate me I didn't give you any pain to hate me but what I did do was love me way more that I can ever love you as a result I have my apartment it's not fancy picked up but it has Furniture in it I have food to put in my mouth I have a bed sleeping every night I don't have drama because I don't bring drama to my front door God has been amazing to holding me together now don't get me wrong sometimes I want to say it to you because I can't believe that my family will put me in this cage and keep trying to hurt me as bad as they keep trying to hurt me but when it comes to my recovery and it comes to being around the right people when I tell you God I send you a village to keep you strong he sent me a village I have a sponsor that's amazing I have friends in recovery that are amazing and nothing and I mean absolutely nothing can take that away I am a four years and 6 months clean off of substances there's no more methamphetamine going in my body there's no more crack cocaine than smoked and I'm strong today so I don't know if anybody out there can understand where I'm coming from but baby if you're going through anything this is my testimony to you keep your eye on the prize and stayed on God and I promise you he will get you through it every single time even if you have to do it alone work hard grind hard whatever you do just believe in yourself love you way more than you can love anybody on this Earth and I promise you your smile every single day in the eyes of your enemy# recovery 4+11+22 let's get it
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