I keep relapsing, and this time I might lose my child, my home,and my boyfriend. I am feeling very hopeless right now and don't know where to start. I've been to 2 rehabs and been to IOP. Go to therapy regularly. Please any advice would help
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Good evening Brooke! Welcome to Loosid. Welcome back to sobriety. My advice is simple, find an AA meeting. Get the big book 
. Get a sponsor. Someone who will take you through the steps ASAP. Read that book. Study that book. Be open minded about everything you hear. Ask questions; about the tools of sobriety. Find your higher power. Help others who want to get sober and are willing, like you, to go to any lengths to get what we have.
Ask yourself what’s one thing I can do differently this time in recovery?
You have a choice to save what you haven’t lost. I lost my marriage, my house (not living there, still own half).
Pray 
tonight to your higher power. Ask for guidance, and turn over your willpower to your higher power of your understanding. Speak with love and compassion about yourself. Only positive thinking regardless of the part. Live in the moment. I’m here.
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Why are u relapsing? What is causing u to relapse? Do u know?
I don't know. I can be happy, I can be sad. I had the most amazing boyfriend I was about to move in with and then I went on a binder for 3 days. Now idk what's going to happen between us.
The only thing I know is I always think, it's been x amount of time, I can have one. One is never enough
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Relapse comes from unresolves issues not a lack of commitment. If you are struggling with coping through other methods that is likely the culprit. Have you sought counseling for that or picked up those skills? Addictions are a daily struggle in the beginning and throughout but it does get easier after a while. It sounds like you have a support system for recovery but need a better start at staying sober. Another or more active therapist might help but part of it is really replacing your mindset about what your drug of choice does for you with something else.
Yes support system, friends, family AA meetings, its a desperate situation, I was living with my parents and could not get sober at one point, I even lived on a motorcycle and slept in the park, nothing like waking to sprinklers in the middle of the night,unemployable, I know desperation, so hey if I can collect double digits twice, you can too.
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Thanks everyone. Today is a tough one, possible love of my life broke up with me bc I relapsed and disappeared
He has 2 kids and said he needed someone stable. I have court in 2 days where my ex husband is trying to get long term supervised visits. My car wouldn't start.... I feel hopeless and alone
Try a residential treatment program.
Been there done that. Can't afford to not work, lose my house and car and more.
Hey Brooke, I would find a sponsor as soon as possible, somebody who has been through what you're going through and will help you feel like you aren't doing it alone. That person will be able to talk you through the steps and help you make decisions that are not harmful.
Brooke you said 1 is never enough. I’d counter that with 1 is too many.
AA was the last thing I tried. I tried everything else first. I went to AA completely defeated. My kids were gone. I had 3 CPS cases. I was in criminal court for a felony child endangerment. I was in court for custody. I was in court for child support. I had finished rehab but the whole time I was there I was just counting down until I had an excuse to drink again.
I’d lost my job. I didn’t know how I was going to keep my phone on. I was fucked.
My dad kept bugging me to try AA. I finally told him I’d go if he would just leave me the fuck alone after it didn’t work. I didn’t understand the difference between spirituality and religion. I was just helpless. Hopeless. Defeated. Broken. Exhausted. I didn’t think I deserved health. Happiness. Love. Forgiveness. Anything.
I was buried in guilt and shame. But I still blamed others. My former boss. My ex wife. My kids. My family. The cops. The lawyers. God. Whoever I could blame to justify why I drank 24/7/365.
And then, I shut up and listened. I realized that my story was the same as everyone else in that room. My feelings weren’t unique. The difference was that they were sober and I wasn’t.
So I asked a guy for help. And that was 441 days ago. And I haven’t had a drink. And after a while I didn’t even want a drink. I got some tools. I took some responsibility. I listened to what worked for others and whaddayaknow, it worked for me too.
Don’t give up. You can have it all too. You just have to admit defeat. Accept help. And stop trying to do it alone. They say it’s a simple program. But it isn’t an easy program. It takes work. But there is nothing in the world more important for you than committing to do that work. And you’ll get to see results quickly. I promise. If you don’t you can go buy a bottle and have all your misery and problems back inside a few minutes.
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The reason AA works is because it's the only thing that is better than drinking. I wouldn't let go of my drinking until I found something better and AA was the only thing that worked.
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Yeah I agree. The way my brain works is that whiskey was my higher power. It made all my decisions. And then I went to aa, and my group took over. They became the power greater than myself. I couldn’t deal with god. It was too abstract. But those 10 recovered degenerate drunks who could finish my sentences and thoughts, because they had walked in my shoes, those motherfuckers knew the secret and that power replaced my bottle when nothing else ever could.
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Tomorrow is the start of a new day! Our Higher power loves you!!!! You are forgiven. You are given😊
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I went through IOP. It helped but AA keeps me on the right path. You don't have to be religious. The tree in the back yard could be your higher power. One day at a time
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Hi Brooke how are you doing? I don't have any great words of wisdom. I lost a girlfriend because of the bottle and used that as another excuse. It doesn't work. Please don't try it.
I'm on track and I know you can do this also.
I just wanted to say hi and see how you are doing.
And the Sade part its all real.will not go a way.unless we get help