I'm so sorry you lost your son. Thank you so much for sharing your story, and thank you for the encouragement. 
Anytime hun
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Amen! Do not feel embarrassed here . I felt that way when I first download the app, first few posts, then when I added a pic/bio, etc. But guess what, this is a supportive community of people who understand and will only build you up!! We are all here for a reason and if anyone has something mean to say or think, they are acutely in a worst position than you bc they are hiding and in denial! You got this I lost my mom Dec ‘20 to a fentanyl overdose from the drugs my brother was supplying her.. I never wanted to crawl under a rock & be done more than ever over this past year but I am blessed I never had any suicidal thoughts, just drinking myself stupid and praying day after day when I woke up the nightmare would be over. Nope, not over but fighting harder than ever for what I/we all deserve- to be healthy&happy!
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I'm so sorry about your mother and the extra pain that must have caused with your brother. Thank you for saying that about the embarrassment too. Glad it's not just me. I have just always been a very private, suffer alone type of a person. I tend to isolate when I'm going through things and try to work it all out by myself and only reach out to people when I deem myself "better", which never actually happens. And that has obviously worked out really well for me lol. Anyway thank you for the encouragement
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Stick with your sobriety. The pain doesn’t go away, but it gets much easier to deal with as long as you don’t get loaded. Don’t give up! You got this!
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We are all striving for “better” if we are here! I am blown away by the amount of ppl that say the have relapsed and what the support is like. I am so used to constantly being ridiculed and put down by my family & friends bc I’m not doing things the way they think I should be.. And go forbid I have a hiccup with anything there is no longer any level of support bc it all goes back to my addiction and not taking the steps they have told me to take.. Coming in here has built me up so much to know I CAN get better bc I WANT to get better and I AM willing to get better. Have I gotten better overnight? Absolutely not! The important thing here though is we can share this and be assured that we are on the right path and mistakes don’t define us
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You ain't lyin!! I'm telling you, the constant negative narrative from the people who are supposed to be my closest allies is so freaking destructive. I just want to scream sometimes, like I know they think they're helping, but that inner voice in my head is hateful enough without them adding to it. Like no wonder I do just about anything to hide everything. I wonder why sometimes it's only strangers who truly see us without judgment. Thank you.
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Truth!! Keep sharing in your safe/positive spaces and I guarantee you’ll start feeling more positive & hopeful in no time! I’ve been on here a little under 2 weeks and the magic is happening for me 
Reach out anytime! Try to stay strong! (I’m saying that to all of us, including myself 
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I totally understand this. My son died 11 years ago on his 29th birthday because he was drunk. For years I clung to my isolation, self pity, grieving, and drinking. I would keep all the drapes and shades closed. I would drink in these darkened rooms and thought I loved it. Last October 7th, 2 days before my son would have turned 40 I hit bottom. I don’t want to go into the details, but it was ghastly! I never gave up. I went to more meetings and started counseling again. Some days are okay and some days I struggle to not go buy a jug. Keep on keeping to stay sober. Good luck from a Mother that understands.
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So much love to you! I'm glad you're still here to fight another day.
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Love your wording, I feel like that a lot and I have over eight months clean. Don't know h ok e to live the good life. Excell at screwing up my life, and all that co.es with it.
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I feel you. It seems like some people just find it really hard to even be just okay, and I'm definitely one of them. Sorry that you feel that way too. It sucks.
Get help.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
First thing I want to say is don't downplay your grief. If people want comfortable instead of being comfort that is on them. Have you considered a grief counselor, or a grief support group?
I think I know at least a little of what you're feeling. I agree with the people that are suggesting you get help, it's ok if you can't do everything alone. Maybe try the next right thing and leave the rest.
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