So I see my PO on Tuesday morning, and I've already made statements of getting messed up that night. I guess I get frustrated when people who say they love me will sit in the same room or in the same house or whatever and just smoke in front of me. I'm honestly probably strongest because I have to see my PO. ( My PO visits are not related to my addiction, just that she's mandating I seek treatment)
That monthly meeting with my PO is normally where I fall normally the second I'm off work that day.
I'm wondering if I will this time. I know it's bad for me, I see what it does to my body, I see what it does to my mental health, and I see how it ruins everything around me financially, emotionally, and any other way. This week we will see....
I feel better sober, but the people in my family who are not sober don't treat me as well, or better to say treat me like an enemy in a way, just because they're still on it and I'm not. Peer pressure is a real thing, especially when you're dealing with deep deep abandonment issues.
