I know there is no one here who knows who i am but i tell you this, I lost the best friend I ever had and i had her( my Mom) my entore life! We went through everything together! I lost her December 25th 2024! With her she took part of me! I thought for sure i would end up using! Instead i clung to the things i loved the most! The ones I thought of, when i laid down at night! The ones I talked to everyday! The ones that loved me no matter whT happened in life! And God and my kids and the love i had for them, got me through losing the one person that I loved the most! The one I knew loved me no matter what! And i didn’t use! That would have broken her heart! And to this day I haven’t used 
I feel like it i can get though that, then i can get through a broken heart and learn to love again! And trust myself! It wasn’t me that was wrong or my gut! It was someone who manipulated my feelings amd trust in them! And they lied for over a year! A year of making memories! A year of getting to know each others children, grandchildren, goals, dreams, his family and dreams, that i found out he had been doing the very thing that I had been battling and i had even ask him if he was doing for over a year?! The whole time, he made mr feel as if, i was the crazy one for thinking or knowing such a thing!! A very dear friend whom was doing time for the exact same thing, had said to me, if your gut feeling says something, then you should bery well listen! Because you’ve been there and done that! So dont ever let someone make you think you’re crazy! It’s taken me a long time to accept this! But by the Grace or God, here i am! Still Meth free! But ive been broken and still putting all the peices back together. I love like Jesus does and i need someone just as patient to love me and love me back to whole again! God Bless you all ane Charle Kirks Family!
I know this was a lot! I pray it wasn’t too much to dump on someone, anyone!
@angela387504 You're in the right place. We are all here/hear to support one another.
The brevity of life is amazing. Over the years we have come to depend on certain people. They become our "rock" and when they pass on our whole world either crumbles or is tilted.
So we can run to the DOC and numb the pain, however once the numbness wears off the pain is still there.
My condolences to you for your loss. Add me.
People will always let you down. It's human nature. I'm a firm believer of 'believing 5% of what people say and 95% of what they do'.
Yet look at how many times you let yourself down.
Pick up yourself and move on. If not for you but for those you love.
Again add me. Let us love on you until you can love yourself.
Lord bless you chic!
Angela, thank you for sharing something that heavy. You’ve been through more than most people could carry.
You didn’t dump anything, you shared your truth, and that matters here. The best part is you’re still showing up and still sober. That’s courage. We’re here with you.
I'm so sorry about your mom I lost mine too and it was devastating. I wish I could say I stayed sober afterwards but I'm sober now and that's what counts. Keep up the good work and let Jesus love you back to whole!
Thank you all. And I’ve come to terms with the fact that I have to find my worth and love myself then I won’t settle for less because I know who I am and what I want. I know what God has done for me and in my life there’s been so many things that only God can get the glory for because there is no other explanation. I believe that somewhere there is a man that God is getting ready just the same as he’s getting me ready. But for now I am perfectly content finding myself and loving my family. I hope you all are doing well and that it’s a good weekend for everyone.