I’m 1 week sober and struggling to tell people I’m changing. Why is it so hard to tell everyone no?
I am already more confidence, but also ashamed.
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Dont b ashamed about if they can't accept ur decision, are they really friends? U might b surprised by the support u get
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Be proud about, you’re  sobriety
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You will likely find that you won’t always feel this way. Look at your strengths and positives too. If it helps you to do so it is really telling one person at a time not everyone one at once. And you may choose to only tell the ones who get you and you will certainly find those who will surprise you and accept you as you are. You don’t have to chase after the ones that are never going to be happy for you anyway.
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Sara I just say to myself I loss the privilege to use. Everyone has a vice ours is alcohol. No shame in taking care of yourself.
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It's YOUR life. There should be no shame in wanting to live and be happy and healthy.
Don't trip on it. Your real friends love you and want what's best for you.
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Your doing it for yourself, no one else. Be true to yourself.
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Those that mind, don’t matter. Those that matter won’t mind.
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I was always ashamed of my past actions. I thought I would be judged on my past. Being ashamed would be a future action at this point if you feel back. Never apologize for getting healthy.
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Just be very clear that you are now in recovery and simply cannot partake in the drink/drugs others are partaking in; if they give you grief and /or don't respect your sobriety then they are simply not very good friends and you should consider avoiding them until you have a solid foundation of sobriety.....or avoid for longer 🤷. I've cut off several such people. Some folks just will not see it as the disease it is and/or lack the empathy to understand addiction. I avoid such people, even family and it's helped a ton. Good luck. Wish you strength and serenity.
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Don’t be ashamed of anything. Alcohol is the only drug where you have to explain why you aren’t taking it. Crazy stuff but it is. Society has made it that way. Remember there is strength in numbers and reach out to those that are sober and you don’t have to explain to!
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For a very long time I didn't I had a problem,an addiction or
I didn't understand I had an addiction, so I never addressed my problems? You realizing that you have a problem and not trying to address that problem would be your only shame? Any true friend will be there for you. I'm pulling for you!
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Important insights relayed throughout this thread and yes.
Completely accurate regarding what John H has relayed about alcohol.
We are rooting for you and yes, you are doing this for yourself. Not anyone else!
Believe me.
You, we each are worth the better life which sobriety offers!
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It’s so hard because alcohol is the only drug you have to apologize for not using in our society
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Don’t be ashamed for taking care of yourself. For me alcohol ALWAYS said yes never no. So the fear of saying no and feeling like I was disappointing was tuff. It’s ok to say no and if someone doesn’t respect that f them they are not needed. Your confidence will build the more you say it. Just part of learning how to live sober. Hopefully this helps.
The hardest part is letting those people go. But it's necessary to remove all triggering situations.
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The only thing we have to change when we get sober is everything. I don't even know anyone anymore that I used to drink with. They all pretty much went their way and here I am going my way.
And I have no regrets!
One of the safest places we can prop ourselves down in when we are in early sobriety is an AA meeting. That's how I got sober and I still go a couple days a week and I'm coming up on 9 years.
You're getting away from your old way of life with friends who drink. Now you have to create another life. There's a whole world out there for you to experience. Putting the cap on the bottle is the 1st step.
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I know for me it’s because I’m a people pleaser it’s almost painful for me to say the word no to someone . But I have realized my sobriety takes a front seat to other peoples emotions
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Congratulations!!!
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