I’m 93 days sober, which I am excited about but the reason I stopped drinking/using was to save my marriage. My wife left me we are in the middle of a divorce and I just found out she had an affair and is with that guy now. I’m struggling pretty bad because all I want to do is numb my feelings like I’m used to. I know that’s not an option because I don’t want to lose my kids and my wife because of my addictions.
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Sorry about this however drinking will not fix this only make it worse by you doing something stupid , don’t drink bud no matter what , i have 25 days today , almost lost everyone wife kids etc , time will help all we can do bro
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93 days is a lot! You don't want to have to start all over. You are struggling now and I'm sure that's difficult but imagine how much harder it will be if you start going backwards in your recovery. I'm on day 89 and so I know you can already start seeing the benefits of sobriety.
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Thank you, I know I just have to sit in these feelings
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Thanks Rob for the words I needed to hear them
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Drinking will not improve anything. In fact it makes it worse. So if you think it’s bad now, it can always be worse. I speak from experience.
Are you going to meetings?
Working a program?
Yea Matt, I have a sponsor, I’m writing for step 4 and about to do step 5 with my sponsor next week. Step 4 has been rough and but I know to heal it’s completely necessary to be 100% honest with myself
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But it’s the most eye opening thing I’ve done to look that deeply into me
Good to hear. Your moving in the right direction. I know it’s painful, but life on life’s terms can be that way. If you continue to work the steps and trust the process it will all work out ok. This is my experience.
I appreciate you Matt thank you, we are drunks helping other drunks right!
Correct
Josh, please listen… Absolutely nothing good will come out of you starting to drink again. Stay strong for your kids brother.
I feel you. My ex recently came back into my life then decided to leave once I opened my heart back up again. Heartbreak is one of the worst pain in this world. 93 days is amazing, but keep at it for Yourself. You may not feel it right now but YOU are deserving of a healthy and easeful life. That can only happen if you move through this pain sober. It sucks but you really have to sit with it and process it raw—no more running away from the emotion. You are strong, and your kids will respect you so much by seeing your resilience.
Jeremy, thank you I was in my head pretty hard the last couple days or all of last week I should say. I’m not going to drink it not going to be an option for me, I’m just hurting and I’m not used to actually feeling (I know everyone here knows what I’m talking about) so thank you for the support brotha!
Carla, I needed those words thank you
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You are not alone. Stay strong. Your higher power is with you always
I’m always available
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I'm so sorry about your struggle. It's not easy dealing with these issues when we're trying to stay sober in the beginning. I do know lthat whatever you're experiencing right now, pouring alcohol on top of it will only make it worse. Right now the alcohol is lying to you, telling you that this time, everything will be OK. But you and I know better than that.
It's going to take some time to sort through this mess and get things right. Back around 1992 or 93 I was trying my best to change my life by laying the alcohol down. My wife went to one meeting with me and she never went to another. At least not while we were together. It turns out she really didn't have any interest in gettin sober just yet.
She was losing her drinking buddy, me. And so she went out and found another. Is shortly after, we were divorced. I'm not saying that's what's happening in your situation because I don't know you or your situation. When one or more people are trying to do something as challenging as quitting drinking, there are a lot of emotions floating around in the air. I don't know what your wife is feeling right now and I'm not a marriage counselor.
I highly recommend that you surround yourself with people in the program that have experienced what you're going through and have been sober for a long time. I also highly recommend that you find yourself a sponsor that will take you through the 12 steps. Going through the 12 steps brings change to people.
Who knows? Maybe your wife will see a change in you that will initiate a change in her. Whatever you do, don't put any expectations on anything because it can lead to great disappointment if they don't work out. There's no guarantees here.
There's a book out there that is not related to recovery but I highly recommend it.
The Power Of A Praying Husband
Stormie Omartian
You can find it at several places online.
Stay the course my friend and don't pick up the 1st drink. And remember, don't believe the big lie!
Staying sober is the right thing for YOU. Can't do it or want it for anything or anyone else, bc it won't stick. It's great to want to do it to improve relationships and all that, but in the end, it is for you
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