I’m wondering how I can set boundaries with my dad. I don’t have his trust and he yells at me whenever I don’t want to do things his way. I’m going to treatment again next week and I have 1 day clean and sober. I don’t want to give in to fighting with him anymore but it makes me so angry when he is constantly raising his voice.
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When you feel yourself starting to react, take a deep breath and a physical step backwards. I know it sounds silly but the physical act of stepping away and being conscious of doing it makes a difference
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That’s a tough one considering the circumstances. I get where you’re coming from, but this one is just going to take time. I’m sure he doesn’t get it. Most everyone that hasn’t gone thru this can’t understand why we do the things we do. Addiction is true insanity. The good news is there is a solution to your problems, and you can rebuild trust. Be patient with yourself and your old man
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That definitely is a tough one. Yelling and forcing you to do things his way is not helpful at all. Stepping away sounds like a good idea. Remove yourself from the yelling is probably the healthiest thing for you. Maybe he should attend an Al-Anon meeting to try to understand what you’re going through? If he’s open to that. Praying for you and a change of heart for him🙏
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Thank you he’s open to Al-anon and he’s gone before…he says he likes them so I hope it helps
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I’m sure it’s frustrating for him as you’re relapsing. He wants the best for you but right now YOU have to take care of YOU. Go to treatment and do what they tell you when you’re done. Otherwise, it will be more of the same or almost certainly worse.
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That’s good! At least he’s open to going. Maybe encourage him to keep going, explain how his yelling isn’t helping and how it makes you feel. I know I wouldn’t respond well to that either. Heck, no one would! I wish you and your Dad the very best. I’m only 2 days sober so I’m just starting my journey as well. It’s super freaking hard. Let’s pray for one another
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You’ll be in my prayers. Good luck on your journey, may you never give up on yourself
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I wish you the same thing. Thank you
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Perhaps you can sit down and talk to him about how he communicates with you, and how it affects your recovery. Pull him in - and if that doesn’t work, you have to push him away. We can’t allow people that are toxic to us to be in our lives and negatively affect us.
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Mindy and Alexander I wish you both the best, Alexander recovery is for you we can only lead our family to the new us, we can’t make them believe or accept us. Mindy, you are a great support system, keep it up being so new yourself. Congratulations on your 48 hrs hun..you both will be blessed and miracles soon.
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Be sure to validate his frustration. He loves you and wants what's best for you, but he doesn't understand your struggle because he hasn't experienced it. He feels helpless to save his son and so is scared which becomes anger.
I know it's hard in the moment, but purpose to have compassion for his struggle and you can defuse your own frustration with his anger.