So I relapsed last week and something in me broke. Maybe it’s rock bottom, maybe it was a mental snap, but I can’t keep living this way. I’ve been drinking a fifth of vodka each day - starting in the morning on the drive to work, several swigs throughout the day, and then finishing up the bottle at home. All to drown out actually having to face reality and my day-to-day existence.
Admittedly, I’ve struggled with depression for most of my life. These past 3+ months I’ve been particularly suicidal, fantasizing about that final moment of relief. I recognize that that’s sick; I’m sick. And while I haven’t acted on it (yet), I’m worried what might happen to me when I’ve got a fifth of vodka in my bloodstream.
Something broke in me this past weekend and I was teetering on the edge. That said, I ended up doing the right thing. I called my family and friends, and let them know what was going on and that I was in desperate need of help. So, yesterday I turned in a two week notice to my job (knowing I’ll likely need to check myself into a rehab) and made my way over to my brother’s house to attempt to dry out.
Today is day 1. I could use the communities advice here:
I’m sure my boss and co-workers have a million questions as to why I am suddenly throwing in the hat. While I know I’m not obligated to do so, I’d like to offer them some sort of explanation. Anybody have any advice on how to let your employer know? I don’t want to leave them in the dark, or leave them to think that they were the reason for me leaving. How do I convey that I need to leave to address my ongoing problems with addiction and depression?
Thanks for listening. Needless to say, this is all quite hard.