I’m battling my alcohol addiction. I’ve been hospitalized because of my stupidity. I have physical scars and nerve damage from my drinking and self destruction. I’m close to losing my wife because I drink and don’t know how to communicate my feelings. I don’t know where to start my healing process. I don’t want to continue hurting myself and those around me. I’m not suicidal and I know alcohol is killing me.
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Hey brother focus on wanting to be fully present, and staying sober one day at a time.
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You can do this even if you feel like garbage for a few days.
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Go to an AA meeting asap! Just sit and listen you don’t have to talk….
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Just messaged you!
Thank you. This is really helping. Like I said… I don’t know how to talk those my loved ones about my struggle.
Not sure how to fully use this app. I’m safe. I’m in a nice place. Thank you for messaging me.
Sounds like you are at the bottom. We have been there. I have been there! I spent 12 years in the bottle, and made tons of bad decisions. I almost got on a bus and left everything behind and was going to disappear. The bright side is you can climb up and out of that hole if you want to. Sobriety teaches us to communicate, feel, and be accountable for our actions. We can and do recover!
First be kind to yourself. You have been dragged behind a team of demons. Focus on fixing yourself. Second don’t pick up. That may sound condescending but it is paramount. Last…get into a program. AA, rehab, IOP, something. Getting sober takes help for most of us. Fortunately there is a huge community not only willing but genuinely wanting to help you. I truly hope you find peace. It’s there if you want it.
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Tim… thank you. I gave my life my butterfly analogy. I’m good at selling. I’m not trying to sell here. She asked me today at what point am I in. I told her I’m in my cocoon. I want to emerge a butterfly or even a moth! I just don’t want to bottom feed within my misery. I WANT WINGS. Not all my words. Apparently I can’t even use bad words here! 
Wife not life
You can focus on your sobriety and get serious. I am in the same position as your wife. I got my addiction under control but he is actively using. He has been hospitalized several times. Been in trouble with the law. And every time he drinks he binges and burns bridges. But I am patient with him because I understand the disease. You really have to want it for yourself and make your bottom now so you can start repairing all the damage. I wish you the best of luck. Start now. Never too late.
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Everything AA app
Have you thought about maybe a medication? They have several that helped me. They stop the cravings
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You do not have to go to AA. There are other options.
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And don’t let people tell you this is a disease. You just need to unlearned learned behavior! And you have the infinite capacity within you to change, move on, and get your life in order. Get a therapist you trust or go to your general practitioner, who could help you as mentioned by Braden.
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They censor really weird things
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I haven’t. I never really considered it. Inbox me with more info.