I’m both so very pissed and so very grateful this morning. This disease literally destroys and kills. Ran into a newcomer last night at a meeting. He was hurting so badly. He was a young guy with a wife and a few young kids. He’d been sober before for a few months, but this last relapse really tore him up hard. His wife was leaving him. He recently got fired from his job. The pain, self hatred, and self pity was oozing out of his body. His self confidence was shot. He no longer believed he could get sober, and felt he wasn’t worthy of sobriety. It bought back recent memories and I could certainly relate. We are sick people. We have an illness. This disease takes hold of us and we lose control. We do some horrible things, but we are not bad people. Yes, we must own up to our mistakes and the wreckage we caused, but we must learn to forgive ourselves as well. Anyway, I did my best to explain the disease to him, and give him some hope. He was desperate and seemed willing. Only time will tell 
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Tomorrow I will be at a funeral service for a young addict who didn’t make it. An acquaintance of mine lost his son to this disease earlier this week. He overdosed and died this past Tuesday evening. He was 22…the same age as my son. I knew his son was struggling with drugs for the past several years. I know he had 6 months clean and sober at some point. Sometimes I just hate this F’ing disease! Today is one of those days. I’m so sick of seeing the destruction! I know what it has done to my family. I can get over the pain I caused myself, but it’s much more difficult to deal with the effects it had on my wife and kids. I’m grateful I have a program today that keeps me sober and helps me recover my life back. I’m grateful my family has taken my broken ass back! I’m grateful for my friends in AA. I’m grateful for the support I’ve found here on Loosid. I’m grateful for the opportunity to be sober and help others find and keep sobriety. Sorry for the rant. I needed to vent this morning. May we all be blessed with hope and sobriety today
Ugh, this can all be so hard. Thank you for sharing this. The hopelessness that many newcomers feel can be overwhelming (for both you and them!), and trying to help them see the light and works towards it is rewarding and difficult. The wreckage of addiction is heartbreaking, and to see someone so young die because of it is the absolute worst. It’s a good reminder for our commitment to sobriety and to help others when we can. Sending you a hug to get through the day.
Thank you for your support Jenn! You always seem to know what to say. The disease of addiction is, as you say, heartbreaking. On the other hand, recovery can be beautiful. Appreciate the virtual hug as well. I’m better at giving them, but I’m happy to accept yours today
Thanks for sharing this. The disease is ugly, the stories of renewed life and triumph are beautiful. I pray for all those who are struggling.
It’s just so brutal when we lose someone to this. I’ve been to 2 funerals in the past couple months, both addiction related.
We make living amends to be the best people we can be by leading a life of sobriety and service to those who still suffer.
Peace to you and his family and loved ones.
Keep helping SoFlo! You’re a blessing my friend 
Amen brother! We pray for the sick and suffering. We know the pain first hand. We are blessed to have a choice today. We are blessed to have each other
Sorry to hear about your losses my friend! Let’s carry the message of hope, as we live our best life’s. Peace to you and yours as well
This is a lot to take in. My heart breaks for you- but I'm grateful these individuals have you to support them.
Losing people to addiction hurts more than losing people any other way, IMO.
I believe if the world was more forgiving to those in addiction it would be easier for for those in addiction to get and stay clean.
People in addiction are in my prayers.
Thank you…and you too Wedad! We need to get the message of hope out to those in need
Thanks for your kind words Amanda!
I agree with your statements. I think the part that hurts about losing people to addiction is we know the suffering they must’ve been going thru, and we also know there was a way out.
The stigma of this disease is awful. We are so full of shame, guilt, and self loathing. I’m grateful for the fellowship I found in recovery. I don’t think I could’ve done this on my own. I was fortunate to have several people help me when my family, friends, and even myself couldn’t. It’s hard for a non addict to relate. It’s hard for them to understand how we could continue to destroy ourselves and our families. You can only understand if you’ve been there. Anyway, that is why we have each other, and this is why we must help one another.
You may have been the only person to show that individual they still mattered in that ONE moment. Be SO PROUD of yourself for being the one who ultimately could have saved their life but more to being someone who could show true compassion, love and support to someone who REALLY NEEDED IT THAT DAY🙌
Thank you so much for sharing It’s probably not an accident that today’s reflections is all about our need to retain an attitude of gratitude. 
