I’m discouraged today because I lost pretty much everything... my home, car a future opportunity all because of this bullshit alcohol. How do I climb out of this depressing hole?
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Hi. I kept losing until I decided enough was enough. Lost my dream job, relationships, suffered immensely…
Most people suggest going to meetings but that did not work for me. I embraced the pain of sobriety, began to exercise little by little and practice positive self talk. I did not believe I deserved a good life before but eventually embraced the idea that I must overcome what was killing me. I am 336 days sober and within a short year I’m in a brand new existence. My advice to you is to use your pain, your losses as fuel to pull yourself back up. You aren’t out of the game yet.
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Thank you so much for the encouraging words. I don’t like AA either. To be honest it makes me want to drink because you never hear feedback but whining and old battle stories. I love exercising and it’s one thing that’s helpful right now. I’m so proud of your sobriety! How do you feel? Does it get easier?
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Exactly. I do not enjoy hearing war stories and I feel no particular attraction to God. I feel so much more healthy, my moods and internal talk are so much better. My relationships are almost all healed and I have a wonderful girlfriend. It does get easier but at the same time you will have BAD days. The key is remembering drinking makes it worse. I still struggle with some cognitive mechanisms but I have no desire to drink and I finally respect myself again.
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One thing I do know for sure is that one has to truly want to quit in order to succeed at recovery. The want to become sober has to come from within and has to be genuine. Things that happen to you and lectures from peers might urge you to seek a alcohol and drug free lifestyle but ultimately you have to be ready and willing to do whatever it takes to make that change. Finding the right AA helps and there are some out there you just have to find one that works for you. It's similar to picking a church or gym. I will be 40 soon and it took my whole life to realize I wanted to be sober. I lost everything and gained it all back many times before I decided enough was enough. I am going on 6 months clean now with a great attitude and even better job. I chose this for myself but in my case a recovery center helped me achieve this. Beforehand I was homeless and lost everything my house,my car,my job,my relationship,even my dog. If I can do it I know that anyone can Including you Danielle. On a side note: try coffee 
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You are exactly right! I always had everything going for me and this poison has hurt everything in my life and heart. I want it more than than anything. I am so thankful to hear success stories. It’s just so hard to be lonely without support without AA which doesn’t seem to help me. I have to cut ties with my friends who are too old to part and drink around me. It’s too hard and I have to venture into new hobbies. I appreciate your advice very much! How are you feeling six months sober? I heard that after 90 days your brain starts functioning normal!
Well its odd because every since I was about 13 I always had a beer in my hand and it became a daily habit as I grew older. I wasn't big on taking medication for normal pains we all go through so In my mind I needed it just as someone else would need a Tylenol. Then I started doing other drugs to aide my drinking and nothing was exempt. I've did it all except stick a needle in my arm but alcohol has always seemed to be my crutch and get me into the most trouble. I would've never been caught dead asking for help or joining a recovery center before and honestly I felt there was nothing wrong with my addictions and that I would be fine using the rest of my life. Until this last fall and I'm not big on religion nor have I ever been to any kind of AA facility but somehow a force greater than myself landed me in the position I was in and when I got to the recovery center and woke up the next day I have never felt the need to use again from that day forward. For me the urge part has been a piece of cake and it really blows my mind because i am hard headed and never would've pictured me being without the need for a drink for 1 day or even an hr if I was not asleep. I think I'm just rambling at this point so I'll try to save it for another day. I was just trying to put you in perspective of how bad of a user I was. As far as how I am feeling now, I feel better than I ever have in my whole life and yes my brain especially when it comes to memory seems to be fully functional if not better than It was before. I also understand how you feel when you mention being lonely so if you ever feel the need to talk to someone feel free to add me. Maybe I can talk you out of having a drink or at least talk your ears off.
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Hi Danielle, I may be one of the more lucky. I found someone to buy my business. Before I completely ran it into the ground. 54 yrs in business. I took over after my Father. I have too say AA meetings are not all the same. I didn't like them either. I did find one that suits me. Listening to battle stories can be eye opening as to what can happen. You have to find what works for you. I think I found mine. That's a story unto itself lol.
I hope you found yours.
May the sun always be shining and the wind to your back. Good luck and better days ahead
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Thank you so much and it’s so nice nice to hear a successful story. I was beaten horribly, cheated on during my marriage and lost our baby baby girl! It’s just hard to not remember the aftermath of my hurt. I know I have so much potential but I am so sad. I just am trying to rebuild myself.
Well Danielle I must say losing everything sure puts a damper on things. You know you’re not the only one in the world it’s lost everything. From this disease or this demon whatever you wanna call it. And you know a lot of people don’t like AA. For the simple fact they don’t want to hear their story being told. And that’s what it sounds like here. Do you know AA does work for people if you give it a chance. Because without it you have a better chance of relapsing and losing everything again. I was an every day drinker. And what got me to get help was I lost my kids. Yes I went through Family Court. The judge gave me an option I need a gopher help and continue seeing my kids. Or I don’t go for help and I lose my kids forever. You were the option. Don’t know if you have kids or not but. So I went for help I was in a rehab center for 30 days. And at first it sucked not being able to drink. Good after being there for two weeks I started feeling a lot better. Was with a counselor every day. I even went through a halfway house and I went through a supportive living program. Best thing I ever done for myself. I was in those programs for over five years. And I love every minute of it. Because it made me a much better person today and I get to see my kids. And my grandkids and hopefully my great grandkids. So I Thank AA and the rehab center and everybody else for the support. And yes I had to change my people places and things in order to stay sober for 37 years. I could never do this on my own I know I couldn’t.
The one thing I will say. Nobody can make you do what you don’t want to do it’s all up to you. But my suggestion is that you give AA a chance. Go there meet new friends and see what they have to say.At least give it a chance. Find a sponsor and you’ll understand but I’m talking about. I’m sorry about the book that I wrote.
I joke about it when I say I made halfway around the block. I was cheated on also and that was before i became a drunk lol. Now that really hurt and stunk. Where not that much different. I didn't lose my kids I'm real sorry to hear that. That's got to be the worst for a Mom. The biggest difference I see is I have a few decades on you lol. Again best wishes I trust all will workout
It pains me to hear someone sick and suffering in sobriety. It takes a lot to get out of the hole we found ourselves in. But the beautiful thing about recovery is the strangers you meet when they jump down in that hole with you and help you climb out and become family. For me personally how I got through some tough times was went to meetings, talked to sober people, did something I loved to get my mind off of me for me it was fishing and hiking, and prayed to a higher power of my understanding. It took me a long time to regain my self worth and change my whole mindset into positive love. Unfortunately I can’t tell you what will work for you becasue everyone’s journey is different but there are a lot of people who love and care for you. It takes time and patience along with gratitude and grace. Focus your mind on 5 things you are grateful for today and really put them in your mind and heart. That sometimes help you escape for a moment when you need relief. Stay strong! And try to live one moment at a time!
I know if I put a mood or mind altering substance of any form I am not able to stop. I also am honest that if I pick up, I always will get the same result. I give everything and everyone away by loosing everything and I mean everything - family, friends, houses, trucks, my hope, my morals … on and on.
I am a chronic alcoholic so I can’t use alcohol in any form which I’m my case is IV heroin/fentanyl. I will never be able to use just once, I can’t just use on the weekends, I cannot use on days of the week that start with a T …. I won’t stop and always will get the same result usual worse than before. Since I don’t use alcohol, I never considered AA. Never planned on it, never even remotely interested. Didn’t want to do it. But I had tried everything else and gave it a shot. Got a sponsor. A sponsor has a lot of time not being sober and a lot of time being sober. Also if I have an addiction problem, I have to go to place where people who had the same affliction were able to get and stay sober. I never would have imagined that I would get a sponsor, call the sponsor every day to run my plans and ideas by him. I attend an AA meeting every day, sponsor other men, and carry the word to others by taking a meeting into detox or prison. My sponsor always said the worst thing you can get back in early sobriety is your opinions. I was to the point of if I didn’t figure sobriety out I would 100% die. Whether OD quickly or alcohol that kills slowly. I was ready to do anything I was told by my sponsor to do even if I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to get sober so I’m already doing stuff I didn’t want to da. Make the decision to change as you can’t keep living in your addiction and you don’t want to die
I am Dave and a alcoholic.came to aa at 26 years old.I want it so bad .I stayed busy .went to meetings every day my frist year.and keeped my job .no car .on time every where.34 years. Aa
Fuck. I mean, I read almost everything in this whole thread, and it’s hard. I’m grateful that you just have a desire to change for the better. A lot of people wouldn’t. If you find it in you to look past the “god” aspect of AA, you might not hate it. I’m an atheist. I have no use for religion. But the power greater than myself did not come with heaven and hell and scripture. It came from Hank and Brian and Mike. Because certainly 3 sober people had a power greater than 1 drunk. So began my journey. And to be honest, being grateful feels better than being resentful. To forgive feels better than to grudge. To apologize quickly for my mistakes feels better than trying to justify my errors. And being humble is a relief after all my years of acting like the center of the world. Just being able to let go of trying to control shit helped me more than alcohol ever did.
And these are the real lessons of 12 step program. Not the Bible or whatever preconceived notion I had. God, according to a good friend of mine I met on this very app, is an abbreviation for group of drunks. Because that’s the god that keeps me sober.
You climb out a little bit at a time. I had to start from scratch. No phone, no ID, nowhere to live, no car. Just focus on one thing at a time and maybe write down some goals.
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RecoveyDharma saved me. AA isnt for me either. 7 months today. Check out a virtual meeting. Visiting good recovery dharma and click meetings. Theres meeting daily, on the hour pretty much. Just attend a few, listen, no need to share or turn video on. Best to you 
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Get a good therapist. You need someone to just listen and not judge you. Best of luck on your journey
Just do it no matter how hard it is it only gets worse each time just for today don’t pick up