OOF super in my feels tonight. My emotions have been very topsy turvy lately, even more so than normal. I know my body & mind are still adjusting to sobriety, & all the holiday festivities definitely stir up a lot for me. I’ve been experiencing quite a bit of sadness. Just sad that certain things happened to me. I know I’m finally letting myself feel grief, which I wasn’t able to do when I was trying to bury my pain in booze. It’s been difficult. BUTTTT (you knew there was a but coming, didn’t ya?) I’m hanging in there! I’m doing what I can to stay positive. I’m spending a quiet night at home wrapping some gifts & watching Christmas movies. I lucked out with some generous tippers these last few days, so I’m able to feel comfortable spending a little money on some gifts for my loved ones. Not getting too crazy, mostly gifts for the kids.
I leave for my mom’s tomorrow. I was previously saying I was leaving for “home,” but it didn’t seem to fit. The apartment I’ve worked so hard for has become my home. I know that’s a big step in itself. My dear friend Sam, whose couch I was crashing on MERE WEEKS AGO, is coming to give me a ride to pick up my rental car in the morning, considering it’s a literal blizzard here. Yet another reason to be grateful, there are so many blessings that I’m trying to be more aware of! I’m doing my best to let myself feel all of my emotions, & to give myself grace. I’m grateful for you guys, thank you for letting me share. Merry Christmas Eve!
7 Likes
Merry Christmas. Be safe on the road, and remember you have been doing an amazing thing! I am proud of you and all you have accomplished.
1 Like
Work and discipline bring freedom and positive results. And this change or perception of life helps me see more beauty in my world. Hope you have a wonderful holiday season!
1 Like
Drive careful Rachel. Be happy, hang in there. Think often of all you've accomplished lately and stay on your path.
1 Like
Thank you so much, Tim!🥹 Merry Christmas!
You too, Steven! Happy Holidays!!
I’ll do my darn best! 
1 Like