I’m having a lot of regret now that I been

Struggling Help
#1

I’m having a lot of regret now that I been sober for a week realizing all the people I’ve hurt during my act of addiction. Wishing I could turn back the hands of time :cry::cry::cry:

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#2

it’s okay! we all go through it. don’t beat yourself up about it- it wasn’t you in all. addiction makes us do things we never thought we would. if you dwell in the past it’ll be hard to look for the future. it’s good to understand that some things weren’t okay but there’s no reason to put yourself at risk thinking too hard about it. when you start working steps eventually you’ll get to step 9 which is to make amends to people we’ve hurt. right now you have to focus on you and being a better you!! wishing you the best, peace and serenity <3

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#3

Thanks so much Avery that’s was helpful :muscle:t6::pray:t6:

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#4

that’s what we’re all here for!! love that I could help ya!! be safe and be kind to yourself :slight_smile:

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#5

Please do not focus on that the guilt of people I hurt and harping on it almost always led me back to my addiction.So let that die and move forward!!!!

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#6

Thanks :pray:t6: Gigi

#7

If you get into AA, we have what's called the 12 steps. All these issues that you are talking about are dealt with in the 12 steps. We do a thorough house cleaning and we admit the exact nature of our wrongs before we go making a list of the people we had harmed and becoming willing to make amends to them all.

Before we are done with these 12 steps there are promises that start to come true in our lives. The only way you're going to understand any of this is to get active in AA, find a sponsor who will take you through the 12 steps. Don't worry about being an addict. We have addicts and AA all the time now and the old timers are more acceptive at most of the meetings.

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#8

That’s a completely normal reaction. The first several months were a wreck for me. Be kind to yourself. You deserve it. Right now all you need to do is stay sober. Those regrets will be handled later… that’s why making amends is step 9 not step 2. Get into a program. AA helped me, but there are others out there… heck try them all if you need to. Just know this too will pass. You have been dragged through he!l, take a minute to breath. We got your back man!

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#9

Thanks Dave i actually just came from a NA meeting. I’ve been attending for about three days. Found a sponsor who I think might be a good fit for me.

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#10

Thanks Tim I really appreciate all the support :pray:t6:

#11

Thanks Dave :pray:t6:

#12

As addicts ( of any sort ) wether we started using for socializing or just out curiosity 9 out of 10 of us began using for completely different reasons than when we first tried whatever the substance may be. The alcohol or drug became a numbing agent , and feeing feelings became harder and harder because let’s face it , who wants to admit hey I have a problem or dam I was a real asshole or even just owning our pets in things? I certainly didn’t want to , but at some point we must all face the inevitable and that guilt and shame alone has been what’s driven so many addicts back into using. Feeling feelings suck, absolutely!!!! But in order to move forward in recovery we must surrender and own our part in things whatever the situation may be and as painful as it most likely will be to endure this is such a crucial step. I encourage you to not let the guilt consume you , don’t over think ( as hard as that is ) but forgive yourself first and make the amends with whomever if your ready and if your not that’s ok too you’ll get there. Being able to own our part in things has an incredible outcome not only for the healing process but for me it took away my urge to use out of guilt and helped me gain a new attitude and level of maturity I never thought I could get and with the attitude that “hey I really fucked up, what I did was awful but that isn’t who I am that was a huge mistake I made but I’m gonna learn from this and become absolute best version of myself I can possibly be, for myself and hopefully then people will know I’m sincere and if they don’t I understand and it’s ok but I’ll keep on building a future better than my past” I learned how to forgive myself and see the good in me again. I sent a prayer up high for you that God will help you through this difficult time and allow you to see the good in yourself so that the healing can begin.

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#13

Would’ve. Could’ve. Should’ve. I’m trying to eliminate those myself. I’m sitting at an AA meeting waiting to start while I write this. I learned at a meeting that it may help to tell people you’ve hurt that you want to apologize and to ask them to contact you when/if they’re ready to talk. We best ourselves up and forgot about who we hurt by using alcohol. Living life on life’s terms now.

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#14

Just know that you are not alone in your sadness and regret. Sometimes god needs to break us down completely in order to allow us to recover. This too shall pass.

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#15

That is great news!

#16

Being kind to yourself can be so difficult if you’ve never done it, I say out of experience but it so important in the process of change. Self forgiveness goes hand in hand with this too. I would recommend opening YouTube and searching for self-forgiveness meditations. You can start with a small 5-10 min video but those helped me a lot to guide me in this journey of self love. :two_hearts::dizzy:

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#17

That’s why I haven’t been sober for a while! But I want to…:broken_heart:

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