I’m in sober living; have been for almost a full year, and I’ve made many friends, some of whom I’ve lived with this entire time. I consider many of them to be lifelong friendships that will continue beyond this part of my journey.
I’m fully vested in my recovery, having shut the f*** up and listened since the moment I first walked through the door. As is common, occasionally others are not, which is unfortunate, but I’m here to help them in any way I can.
A few weeks ago I noticed something off about the count in my pill case that I kept in my dresser. I chalked it up to a 45yo recovering alcoholic brain, and went about my way. The next week I noticed the same thing, but I’d logged my last refill with staff, so I referred back to it. Yes, one of my two pills for each morning, and a couple of the afternoon doses had gone missing.
I immediately had someone in mind; one of my closest housemates, of whom I’ve lived with since I entered the house. It’s been common knowledge that he’s not worked his program honestly throughout his stay here; many repeated poor decisions and dishonesty, but I never let that permeate the overall value I placed on our friendship. I was, and always will be, here for him.
After last week, I brought my findings to staff’s attention, but never uttered the name of whom I suspected was pilfering my case, even when they asked me who I thought it could be. The last thing I would ever want to live with would be accusing the wrong person, and I’m confident that most of you readers know someone close to you that is beyond confronting quietly, personally. That would have accomplished nothing in this situation.
I decided to allow staff to give me a hidden camera. I went through my usual Sunday evening routine of announcing to staff after our house meeting that I was needing to refill my case now, because I had to run some errands. I filled the case, logged it, went into the living room to bs with most of the guys briefly before taking it up to my room. I turned on the camera, put an empty pill case in the top dresser drawer, placed a paper clip behind the drawer front, and walked downstairs to tell the guys I’d be back in an hour.
I returned 30 minutes later, went up to my room, and the paper clip was on the floor. The video showed the friend whom I suspected going into the drawer on two quick separate occasions.
He has since been evicted from the house, now with an even tougher road ahead of him. To pour salt on the wound, he was told to pack his things on his one-year ‘sober’ birthday…
I’m extremely sad, and also hurt, by what unfolded, but I and everyone else knew that he wouldn’t have been honest when confronted without proof.
My intent had never been to catch a thief, get revenge, or any sick satisfaction from them getting ‘busted’, and I certainly didn’t hope it was my friend who’d be in the video. At the end of the day I want the person to get help, plain and simple. On his way out, I went up to him, put my hand on his shoulder, and told him that if he ever needed to talk that I’m here for him.
I truly wish the best things in life for my friend. 🫤.
praying for your friend