I want to stop. I saw the positive when stopped I see the negative when I do. But why do I continue. Thank you if you read.
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Isn’t it the most bizarre thing in the world?! It is almost like “we’ll ok! Like is great now! Might as well make it worse than ever!!” I am also fighting with this right now…. My advice: a positive support team… my family has had it but (love me) im leaning on friends of AA and recovery homes. Thinking of you!!! We will get through this!!
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I know! It's so hard. But you can do it! There are SO MANY other ways to cope.
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That’s the power of the disease! Find a person that you can call that will keep you accountable when you get the urge. It’s not easy but you can become the person you want to be.
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I have so many consequences from drinking I almost lose my breathe when I reflect back on my life. It has never gotten better, only so much worse, when I pick up that drink. Every single time. I remind myself a lot that alcohol is not a refreshment. It is a drug. Period. Being mad at yourself is normal normal “why do I keep making the same choice and expecting a different result??” Its the addicted brain. Read up on addiction and the brain - learning about the disease has helped tremendously! Dust yourself off and walk forward! You can do it!
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Same here....I did it again. Knowing how lucky I am and how I have defeated the odds already. GOD is protecting...he won't stop now.
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Why do you continue?
Because you keep believing the lie; that this time, everything will be OK. But it never is, is it?
We have to learn to play the scene forward. You may feel some relief but sooner or later you will be right back where you are right now, carrying more guilt around with you knowing that you accomplished absolutely nothing.
You should go to meetings, get a copy of The Big Book of AA and read the first 164 pages. That is truly where your answers are.
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At least you’re trying.
You don't even have to read the AA Big Book yet. Just get your a$$ to as many meetings as possible. Hang out in a place that is alcohol free, with people who are alcohol free, who know where you are coming from.
Get in the chopper, if you wanna live.
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Things being better when we stop or having a lot to loose don’t really matter. The disease is not logical. It made me strangely insane.
“By a million forms of self deception and experimentation, we tried to prove that we could drink like other people”
“the persistence of this illusion is astonishing”
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I just got done explaining this phenomenon to my ex. She doesn’t realize the extent of my pain and I absolved from most of the blame because everything she’s done to hurt me. It’s been a direct result of my actions, but if you want to talk about hate and self-loathing try, realizing that you have destroyed the thing that is most important to you and you care about more than anything in the world. I told her it’s easy to hate someone else because if you hate them, you can leave them for when you really hate yourself for the things that you’ve done you got to deal with that stuff for the rest your life and I’m not saying that you can’t get over it but it’s a lot harder.
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To the choppa..
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