I’m not sure where to start, but I know I need help. I chose to get sober two months ago after a really terrible situation that involved police. It forced me to take a hard look at my life and finally put action behind the words “I should really stop drinking.” But it’s been extremely hard—far harder than the last time I decided to get sober—and I feel like I have a million triggers and very few coping mechanisms. The holidays were incredibly difficult, and I made it through just barely by basically isolating myself to avoid putting myself in situations where I would drink and grinning and bearing it. I told myself that if I could just make it through the end of 2021, things would get easier, but this week my grandfather passed away, and I’m just at a complete loss. I don’t know how I’m going to grin and bear this one. I don’t feel equipped with coping mechanisms to confront the loss, and I can’t isolate myself to avoid temptations. I will have to be around family, many of whom have their own struggles with drinking and drugging and are not in active recovery, which is a trigger for me in itself. I don’t want to isolate myself either, but I just don’t know who to turn to or how to navigate this situation soberly. I can also feel myself almost planning a relapse, telling myself “in that situation it would be understandable if I drank,” which terrifies me. I don’t want to go backwards—please help.
Use the love you have for your grandfather as a crutch not to drink.the strength to stay sober is in you make it prove it to yourself every second of the way.just don't drink any alcohol.fight it every moment and you will have taken a huge step to build strength in your sobriety. Just don't put alcohol in you moment by moment.you can do this.i so sorry for your loss
This is why you get plugged into a program. You are the exact reason why we need to be in meetings and surrounding ourselves with recovering people. You get a sponsor, a friend that has your back. Especially now. You get recovering people to have your back when you go to a funeral. You gotta put in the work to get support. It doesn’t come knocking on your door. You’re right. The relapse doesn’t happen when you pick up. It starts way before you do. You reaching out now is great. However, you need people around you now. Do you have any recovering friends yet near you? Keep reaching out. We are all the same as you. You are not alone. Get to a meeting. Any meeting. Any recovering program. Get plugged into something. Try and find a higher power. Someone or something greater than you that can be with you in these times of need. Sure hope you don’t use. Not worth that chaos. Especially if you are now involved with the legal system. Please, get plugged in. Miracles happen when you do. Isolating will not keep you sober.
I know exactly how you feel. I had many starts and stops until I finally hit rock bottom. Best advice I can give is to join a program. I use Smart Recovery which is online based. It’s been a big help for me. I’ve been sober 22 weeks
I had to go to treatment. I was an emotional wreck. Divorce, kicked out of home. Life was upside down. I got through so much turmoil in the last 25 months and I can say it’s much better sober. I love AA. I have 60 new friends I’ve made over the 2 two years that are either in the program or have some kind of trauma they are working on. It’s this support group I’ve became a part of that has helped me through some difficult days. Also, finding God in my life. Prayer and meditation. Being patient with myself. Giving myself gratitude for the things I have. Helping another alcoholic has also been a huge influence on my sobriety. I actually enjoy reading the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous with another Alcoholic.
Hang in there! These emotions will pass. Be in the moment. Tomorrow isn’t here. Yesterday is gone. Now is the gift.
I am so sorry to hear about your grandfather 
Thank you, Maegen.
Hi Kaysey, so sorry about your grandfather and your struggles. The majority of us learn the coping mechanism we have from some sort of recovery program. There are a ton out there, but to name a few: AA, The Luckiest Club, SMART Recovery, Recovery Dharma, Tempest, Women for Sobriety, and Celebrate Recovery. They all offer something a little different, so I suggest doing some research. Also, two books that I found really helpful in processing grief were: On Grief and Grieving by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler, and Finding Meaning by David Kessler. Sending you a big hug, you got this!
I’m sorry for your loss Kaysey. You’re in my prayers.
Hey girl u have kids so do if so I do and artistic son and I sold drugs my whole life n work but my wife wanted me to go to Rehab years ago I’m Gald I will of been there a lot more mind u I’m am addicted to heroin when u really ready u will go. I left there elry for my Faimly biggest mistake but I made my mind up I was really done with using n selling and liying n hinding most of all sick of not knowing who I am anymore just. I’m 38 and finally got a goal a passion. It’s my new drug helping those who want help !!! So I understand ur stress but there’s a shock collar viscerall or Vivitar sorry I’m Dominican it’s help with alcohol and opiates it’s block it for 30 days but understand this isn’t a cured but it’s will help. Ok will u drink if u can’t get drunk ! No what the point that like drinking soda!!! But I not a pro I just know what work for me is help those the want help mind it was 3 am cuz I can’t sleep but u need time to get back to a better u. Rehab then the shot is what a kick of rehab ( cuz it was to hard for my with to deal with all the kids (6) 4to17 not coming the ones who move out guy telling to tell u mind u my mom is 78 n is in the hospital right now I txt a few min ago fick she can be dead any min now but still I no there no going back because I’m done with drugs. I’m sick of the lies. My god bless u and do what u feel like because only u know what u really need to do. Love n respect