Good morning! 
I get to pick up my 1 year chip today and put it in my book holder! I’ve waited for this day for years! I minimized it in my head so much I forgot it was today! 
I didn’t pick out an outfit and I’m usually dressed 
at events…. 
The problem is I haven’t been praying 
or going to church 
as much or as intently as I did when I was relapsing or scared of relapsing 
. I have not been putting my health first by working out 
daily! Which I need to do because I’m pre-diabetic. Since the doctor 
told me the diabetes 
is more controlled I’ve been more lenient with what’s going into my body relying on the medication I’m on to help control the sugars instead and have been eating 
horribly and not drinking enough water 
.
Here are the things I have been doing to keep my recovery ❤🩹 though! It hasn’t all been bad. 
I been keying 
the 6 o’clock on Wednesday and Fridays. Helped open a new meeting at the 24 hour club on Saturdays at 6 and committed to going to it every week to help support it. Finished 
step 2. Text my sponsor daily and call her when I need to. I went to hear some speakers last Saturday share their experience, strength and hope. I’m friends with some new comers that give me strength to continue doing the thing!!! Without the new comer I may have given I text and call other friends who have more time in the program as well! I’m doing my best to stay in the middle of the herd so one day I’ll be part of the outer protectant part of the herd, God willing! 🫂
I have to remind myself though that I haven’t arrived! 
I still need my meetings. I need to feed my spirit and my body nutritious food. What we eat has a huge affect on how you feel and act as well! I start feeling exhausted and I know that if I start getting overwhelmed by everything and I’m not taking time to enjoy life or even just sit at home and get some rest, I want to find a way out. For me that “way out” was using! I took some time yesterday to take a nap after taking my daughter to her eye 
Dr. 
It’s still hard for me to just sit still at times, but good thing I recognized this in me, called my co-key holder and took the rest of the evening to recharge!
I’m grateful for all my relapses and for everything that I have learned about myself through it all! I now can recognize when things may go south for me, switch what I’m doing and make a conscience choice of whether or not using is a good idea! 
Today I choose to be a glimpse of hope for others! My life has purpose today and I’ll be forever grateful to Jesus Christ for showing when it was hard for me to even believe He was real and Northside NA for showing me love and acceptance when I couldn’t love or accept myself!!! 
Thank you too every single one of you that are part of my recovery! I love you! 
