I’m so struggling just can’t keep sober…last week got blackout drunk had the man of my dreams arrested (he doesn’t drink) I’m back in treatment for the 5th time. I’m so frustrated and angry. I hate this disease it has continued to ruin my life over and over. 
I am proud of you for going to treatment. Don't let you tell yourself that it's "back to treatment" or "treatment again". I have been to treatment several times and each time I learned something, whether about myself, about life, about addiction, or all three. You are not "going back to treatment" you are continuing to fight for a better life for yourself. Keep fighting, keep pushing, and those things that you learn while in treatment stay with you, and will continue to help along your journey. I am proud of you!
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Thank you