I’m struggling. I can’t believe this is happening to me. With mom passing unexpectedly and finding out dad is eaten up with cancer forcing me to move back to Boone to be a caretaker which in itself is over whelming. I know I have to be strong for dad. Make his last weeks, maybe months the best I can make them. But I just need a hole to crawl in. I have no time to grieve I try yo keep it blocked out of my thoughts so I don’t have to feel it. That’s currently where I am now. Trying to block it out. Thanks for listening.
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Sending Prayers 
…. I’m here for you if you need to vent some more
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I’m here if you need to talk/vent.
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I have not gone through a death of a parent yet .... I know how it feels to keep trudging forward when your emotions are there on display, but you have to keep them locked away for the right time to process. It feels suffocating and just overwhelming. There is no right way to grieve, go at your own chosen speed and don't feel you have to follow a game plan but give yourself some time to breathe so you can let it out a bit at a time.
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Kristina, you are a courageous woman! This is a fact!!!!! Use a higher power to continue to fuel your courageous self and being present during this time will be an amazing accomplishment!!!! Keith Kayle
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Kristina, I’m sincerely sorry you’re dealing w so much💔
There are no words.
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A building just fell on you. I can't imagine. Stay strong, I'm sorry.
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That’s a lot but I can promise you one thing booze and dope won’t fix any of it!!!
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I lost both my parents this past year, 6 months apart. I got there house with everything in it, that was in sept, I’m a month back into AA got a sponsor worked all the steps did my 5 th this past Tuesday. And all the demons are gone so work the steps and God will take care of the rest
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You are in a very painful place. Pain is usually something we Alcoholics Run from. You told us here where you are at and what you are feeling.
Can you schedule meetings? If you share this at a meeting or more than one you will receive guidance. Sometimes the last person we think could help adds the perfect puzzle pieces.
I've had cancer, I've taken care of both my parents until they died.
You don't have to be perfect, you just need to be there. Your gift of giving yourself for your dad is amazing. Please keep going to meetings when you can. Talk with your sponsor and when your emotions come up and out feel them. They can't take us over. I'm sorry your going through this but let's be grateful and honest. Without AA we'd only make everything worse. With sobriety you really can Help. Remember - eat sleep cry be honest at meetings/ with your sponsor.
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Sometimes the grieving part has to be delayed. We just aren't ready or we aren't able or whatever the case may be, that is common. My parents died when I was a kid and I didn't truly grieve until I started this sober journey. I tamped that shït down as deep as I could with as much nihilistic behavior as I could. I know you're situation is different, but just get through the movr and evrrything and sort it out later. Get some meetings planned in Boone when you get there (beautiful town) and hit them asap. Stay busy like you're doing.
Hoping the best for you.
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If you ever need to talk about everything you're going thru I'm up all hours. I have a irregular sleep schedule.
I might help. I can relate. I also was a hospice worker for over five years. My dad wasn't a nice guy. Taking care of him was .. difficult at times.
I don't know what your family was like. I hope you can ask for help. You're going through too much for most people to do in our own. AA taught me over time I could trust some people...
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