I’m struggling terribly. I can’t stop relapsing. I hate myself for it, I know I’m acting like a loser and letting everyone down, but I still can’t stop. 
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Hey Sara! I’m sorry you are having a rough time. Try to stay calm as though a relapse may be a set back it isn’t the end of the world. I don’t know you but I can just tell you are an amazing person with so many great qualities. Take it a second at a time if that is what you need. Try to hit a meeting on zoom if you can!
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You can do hard things
Have you tried to do activities u enjoy that distract your attention
So I can deffinently relate I just after 3 months relapsed and before that after 6 month relapsed however my sponsor told me one thing that makes all the difference I can either beat myself up extremely or be a little hard on myself to get back into this thing the he said " the arrow on the bow doesn't go anywhere if we just let it sit , instead we have to pull it back and put it into trajectory" i don't know if this helps at all but I do know it's not the end and atleast you made it back..! I am now on day 9 the point is, its not lost time or complete failure it is that it's obvious that there was more to learn from the situation we were powerless over I will pray for you .. you got this! & Incase nobody has told you yet today ... I'm proud of you! Much love! JT
Sara, I was a chronic relapser for years too.
It’s not good to hate yourself.
I had to get serious and give myself a real chance. Finally I went to detox and broker to cycle. The day I was released from detox I went to two meetings and then three meetings daily for well over a year. I got a sponsor, did the steps, and got commitments. I became a member of the program.
15+ years later, still sober and happy.
Friend, request you now. I’m here if you wanna talk.
Good morning Sara
You are not a loser. Do you have a disease of addiction and alcoholism? Until we get down to the causes and conditions of why we pick up.
We will keep picking up until we work the steps. it is imperative that we’ve complete the steps and give it away to someone else. That way we get a conscious contact with God as we Understand him.
Please don’t pick up no matter what please find a sponsor that you can be totally honest with and work the steps.
God bless you have an amazing day
We are all the same with addiction, my advice is to dedicate your time in the rooms of AA and dive deep. find a sponsor and work the steps when you get settled in. We can’t do this recovery thing alone and today I know the only way is working my disease with others just like me. You got this but you have to dig deep and fight for it one day at a time
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Sorry that you’re struggling. I struggle too but it’s just a desease that we have to keep fighting it off. Know that you’re not alone
Relapse is part of it. But the fact that you are recognizing that you feel defeated when you is a good thing. Reach out and keep hope. Hope is what will save you. You have to change your mind from in the moment thinking to living the life you’re destined to live. You can do it. Keep being honest. It will get easier
It takes what it takes to
That's how I was before I got on my current streak. There was no one thing that made it happen.
Sometimes you have to have to make mistakes to ever make any real progress. Look deep inside yourself and find out if you're actually prepared to quit / have yourself fully believing that it's the only way forward.
;)happy thoughts!