I’m struggling with fear and self doubt. Relationship of 5 years has ended and I’m scared of this loneliness. I keep thinking of drinking but I know it’s not an option. I just HATE this feeling right now. And it’s going on for so long. I reach out to other women but it’s not subsiding
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Loneliness is a painful feeling that must of us deal with. Even those that are surrounded by people can feel terribly lonely. Perhaps this is the time to make more connections? Maybe this is the push you “needed” to go to meetings and find your people? Maybe it’s an opportunity to explore prayer and meditation? These are just some suggestions that were given to me that relieve me just enough to not wish to escape
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My sponsor has suggested meditation and that this may be the time that God is telling me to be quiet and listen. Since another in recovery is telling me something similar, maybe I should take that as a sign
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My sponsor had some great advice for me in my own breakup. He suggested in addition to my regularly inventory (step 10) that I might want to do a separate Fear inventory around this breakup. Grab a paper section in 3rds. In the first column put "fear of what I may lose," second column "fear of what I might not have," and third "fear of what others may find out" all the fears I could think of fell withing these categories. Don't hold back it's only for you, then go over it with your sponsor to figure out why these fears are effecting you. Thinks of how we do the 4th step in your approach to this, then follow through with the approach of working 5/6/7/8/9. Same solution (4-9) different problems 
working with my sponsor realize that this applies to everything not just my alcoholism.
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Also an "assests/liabilities" helped me too. This isn't directly related to the AA program or Big Book but I've found value in it. Get a paper fold it in half, on one half put "Assets" and the other put "Liabilities" this is meant for finding out if a person/place/things are good in your life. I've used it for Jobs, housing, and relationships and more. So with whatever is troubling you, on the "Assets" side put everything that's positive or brings value to you, the "Liabilities" side put everything that robs you of value or peace of mind. Honestly is key obviously, as we're looking for guidance. We might be able to see that one column (either assets or liabilities) are filled up more than the other. A decision or/acceptance my come easier when these facts are presented like this. Follow with vigorous action! 
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Chrissy, I had to split with my spouse after 19 years of marriage. She chose substances over our children and me. I was devastated. I suggest as others have to work hard on gratitude. I thank my HP hourly for all things big and small, out loud if possible. You can’t see it now, but if you’re sober you have hundreds of things to be grateful for. And I was reminded that God is doing for me what I could not do for myself.
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Chrissy, I got divorced 6 1/2 years into sobriety. It was the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. We had a six-month-old baby together. I think break ups give you an opportunity to reformulate yourself in a way that most adults are never able to. Although it’s difficult right now, I would encourage you to take the opportunity at reassessing your goals, values, things that you like, etc. It is a space and time In your life that allows for immense creativity and creation. Try breast to see the opportunities and avoid the morbid reflection. It’ll get better as long as you don’t drink over it.
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