haven’t been on here in forever..still clean and sober. feeling very alone and unappreciated. it’s hard when you feel torn between this is karma I deserve this bc of past wrongs while also feeling I deserve to be treated better.
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Can’t live in the past. Create a new future, live life soberly, and let that past be. Can’t be changed. Only today and tomorrow can be. You’re in a good space. Give yourself a break. You’ve earned it.
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Most certainly relate with the feelings you bring up, Ilona. K. Bradford R, thank you. Truths.
This isn't punishment. Your past has nothing to do with your future other than to give you wisdom for your tomorrows. Yesterday is written tomorrow is still a dream. Make it a good one!
I’m 7 months in and what you’re saying is in the front of my mind every day. Seeing clearly how being a drunk really effected my family is overwhelming.
I also had a hard time giving up that guilt. We should remember our past but also learn from it and strive to not repeat it. Time does heal if you let it.
First, congrats on your clean/sober time! Whatever you are going thru would be so much worse if you weren’t in recovery. Recovery gives you a chance to work things out, grow, and lead a happier and productive life. Now might be a good time to reevaluate your program of recovery. How did you first get sober, and what things did you do to keep you sober during those tough early weeks/months? What are you doing these days as far as working on your recovery and overall mental health? Perhaps you’re doing a lot, or perhaps you’ve gotten stagnant. I’m an AA guy. I don’t want to push any particular program on you, but I do strongly believe that it takes a daily spiritual program to stay sober and grow. Hope you find the strength to carry on and work on healing. Do something before it’s too late 
