I’m tired. I’ve been working so hard. First I have to say I’m so very grateful I found the recovery community. Recovery honestly saved my life. A year and a half ago I had to stop working for several months to just take it easy, rest, transition, all of that. Don’t get me wrong, it was worse than it sounds but it gave me wisdom. So I fought & started freelancing which landed me the best job I’ve had in my life. I’m fully remote & get to travel to both coasts for work every couple of months. I tried to do a good deed this weekend & I’ve put it in social media mainly trying to get donations to help more. No one has even messaged. It kind of hurts my heart because I’ve been in a tough place before where I needed help & received it. Now I really try to help people sort of as a universal way of saying thank you to people that helped me. I dunno maybe posting it seems bad. I can’t figure out the 2022 world anymore. I’m renovating a house & it’s so expensive & stressful. I have to sell it asap. Plus my job which is stressful. But this week my boss gave me a bonus. It made me tear up to be honest. He couldn’t see or hear that, we were just chatting on teams. It wasn’t about the money but it was about a human being that only knows me as I am now, which is the truest form of me - how I was before any issues in adulthood. Just my true spirit & dedication to having a better life. So that’s the me he knows & he really appreciates & values that person. I am so grateful for that, but sometimes I wish I could eternal sunshine people that only see the worst of me. Human beings are complex you know? Anyway just my ramblings. I’m so tired from driving 4 hours each Saturday, spending so much money on house supplies & working on the house. I really want a few new outfits, a pedicure & to refill my skincare I ran out of, but I bought light fixtures & stuff today.
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And sorry - spelling/grammar errors because I’m tired ha