Hey Dave. To be honest, your text was so long that I only skimmed it. Yes, I totally agree with that stay out of relationships for the first year of recovery for sure. I've been in and out of recovery for a long time and I see so many people they get clean, start out well and then completely sidetrack themselves on a relationship early on. As addicts, we all try to find something outside ourselves to make us happy but that will never work for anyone... Addicts and non addicts alike.
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I know how you feel trust me but in hindsight you will one day look back and laugh at how big of a deal you made things. I went from 3 years in prison getting out with absolutely nothing, literally, to being now married with a beautiful daughter, a beautiful brand new home, great friends, nice things etc...you are complaining that the bed doesn't look big enough for two, at least you have a bed. I was at a meeting the other day and a guy just got back into sober living after losing his home, he had to sleep under the awning at our AA club house in the rain until he could figure something out. He is still sober, several years. Stuff happens, we face it, we learn and we grow....or....we don't, we use, we stay weak mentally and emotionally and repeat the cycle. This whole recovery thing is about emotional sobriety, the drugs and alcohol are only a symptom. I will be praying things work out for you and that you stay sober through it all. The best thing is that you are reaching out. ❤️🩹
Yeah, that's super difficult. Depression is super common early in recovery. Your brain is still trying to recover and rewire itself. Be patient and kind to yourself. I know that's easier said than done especially when you're dealing with loneliness and housing insecurity. I'm not sure where you live, but there might be some housing resources or financial assistance available especially when you have mental illness. I'm not sure if you're open to it or not, but antidepressants have helped me.
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You’re doing great. I’ve been rooting for you. It’s hard but you’re getting there. I didn’t do what you’re doing until I was 46. And it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
Try to be nice to yourself. I know you’re struggling. I know you want to feel the immediate relief from sobriety like you used to feel the immediate relief of a hit. Unfortunately it doesn’t work like that. It took years to reach the bottom. It takes time to get back. Stay committed to yourself. Make good decisions and you’ll get good results.
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I totally understand. I've got a lot on my plate as well. I'd be open to chatting as friends.
Luna, don't look back but instead seek forward. Meaning find other activities.
Hey Luna. How are you doing?
i’ve been in this relationship for almost a decade and my entire adult life
How’s it going today Luna?
My advice comes from learning the hard way and making those same mistakes myself.