I just spent the last hour listening to my dad bitch about everything! Then he started back at the beginning of the conversation…. I couldn’t take it anymore and snapped. I yelled at him. Now I feel like shit for yelling!
When is it enough enough? I was on the verge of another anger blackout. Anyone ever experience these? Where your so anger that you loose control of all action and emotions? I’ve had about four or so of these. Most of them during early recovery. I was biting my tongue trying to let him vent. I tried my best to have compassion. He just wouldn’t shut up! I think he’s on drugs… it’s none of business what he does. I just want to keep my side of the street clean!!!!!
I’m going to bed! I had a wonderful day other wise. Can’t let this ruin it… I must not of had G0d on my mind….
I have had those moments of intense anger. The first time it scared me. All I can say is that I have to remove myself quickly if my hands start to shake and tears start falling.
Thank you for sharing
I see. Looking back last night now, I was very tired. I needed to remove myself. I actually did get up and leave the room. That’s when he kept talking and I snapped. I’m trying so hard to have compassion for my dad as he is mentally sick just like me. I’m having a hard time excepting who he is. I despise how he’s wasted his life here on earth. He’s negativity was completely rubbing off onto me. I completely felt it… anyway I’m feeling better now that I got some sleep
Have a wonderful day my friend
You have a great day as well
My motto is never let the bastards get you down.
Not saying your dad is. But don't let him bring you down.
Have you seen movie life of a king with Cuba gooding Jr? If not it'sa must see, anyway in the beginning one guy states if you keep your eye on the end game, everything else will fall into place, my daily motto to sobriety. My end game daily, staying sober, and everyday things fall into place. Maybe not right then but God knows when it's needed.
Good luck, congrats and have a blessed day
Thank you Amanda! I will checkout the movie. You’re absolutely correct, I do tell myself to keep my eyes on the prize. I have faith in G0d to make it all right. I’m learning how to use boundaries. I need to put up boundaries with my Dad. I have in the past but I don’t enforce and then allow the anger to over ride my response/reactions.
Thank you and you too have a wonderful day filled with love and peace within my friend.
I have been around angry men Most of my life. Beginning with my stepfather, and three abusive relationships in a row.
Currently, when my children’s father gets in one of his rants, I have learned that the absolute best defense for me, is being extremely quiet, calm, showing him indirectly that his behavior is unacceptable with my silence. However, This takes a lot of practice and self-restraint. The fact that you are aware enough to Acknowledge, that you got sucked in, is growth in itself!!
Most people don’t have that self-awareness. You’re doing a fantastic job in self discovery. Don’t be swayed by inappropriate behavior, apparently you’re stronger than that. Make it a fantastic Sabor day❤️
Calene thank you for sharing your story and words of encouragement. I’m sorry you had to experience three abusive relationships. In my drinking days I too would become verbally abusive at times towards everyone. I’ve learned that my behavior was a reflection of my inner self and unhappiness.
Your are absolutely right about staying extremely calm. I’ve been doing really well with my dad but I’m learning that if I’m extremely tired, it’s very difficult for me to control myself. My intuition kept telling me to go to bed…
Since then, I have acknowledge my wrong doing and have apologized via text, for now, and have put up boundaries with him. He has responded with complete understanding. Communication skills are a must. Need more practice.
Thank you for sharing. I’m going to start my day off great! Have a wonderful day filled with love and peace within my friend.
Really nice response Kevin!
You have already accumulated great coping skills! You will be a great teacher for your dad!
Love and peace for sure….
I said great twice😳
Thank you 
not do I want to teach him but anyone who’s willing and wants to go to any lengths to get what we have.
One thing I have to learn is I can’t fix him. And that’s something I’m working on within myself- co-dependency. I love to fix everyone else’s life but mine! 
not anymore. My life first and I’ll share my experience, strength and hope with you.
Like Tony the Tiger says, “There Great!”
Hey you took my motto…..”I’m codependent”!! And actually I am the “Fixer” geeze😲
well looks like we found something in common, 
I fix things for a living. Construction contractor. Always solving problems. I’ve learned to let G0d solve problems through me.
Hi Kevin, I am so sorry to hear you had to go through this. One of the biggest things I have trouble with is boundaries. My mom can be the same way where every conversation revolves around how miserable she is and it's filled with negativity. I cant imagine what those anger blackouts must feel like. Stay strong and take it one day at a time. On the tough days I have to remind myself to take it one moment at a time
Thank you Erik. I’ve removed myself from him and that seems to help me a lot. But I ant stay away for ever… Boundaries are tough. Yep yep like they say in AA “easy does it”
Parents are good at pushing us over to the crazy side. Stay strong my friend.
Thank you
You are absolutely right! Same to you my friend! Strong together is way more powerful than me strong alone.