I made it to 30 days free from alcohol! I am proud of myself, but I do still miss it. I feel like I lost my best friend. I still obsess over it. Romanticize it. Yearn for it. This makes me not feel worthy of celebrating these 30 days.
I've been here before. I've made it to a year alone before. Do I still get to get excited about it again, or are my fears and reservations valid?
Thank you for listening and ODAAT
Definitely celebrate the 30. You are worthy. But you sound like you are white knuckling it big time. Will power is not the thing to be relying on. You want to get excited about your recovery. You can’t do that if you are miserable. Can’t do it on your own bud. Get to some meetings. Find some folks that can help you.
Definitely celebrate because yes, you deserve sobriety we all do. Today is my Day 30 as well and right , have achieved close to two years ( while that was like uh, six years ago ). I am proud of us while I feel sad today. Just a lot of regrets hitting hard. Think I will take a walk, hopefully write in my notebook and definitely attend a meeting tonight. Keep going, Ricky. I also appreciate Shawn s insights. Grateful to and for this community. 
Thank you for that great advice Shawn. I feel the same way and confirmation is a nice God shot.
Thank you Sarim. It feels great to know that I'm not alone but I'm sorry that you were sad on that day. I hope your planned activities helped and that today was a great day for you!
Hi, Ricky-how was your week overall? Thank you for your response. It is ok. I get that no moment, feeling lasts forever. I just have my moments where of course I would “ usually “ pour a glass ( or six ? ) of wine to deal with depression, anxiety and overwhelm ( knowing full well that such is never the answer ). I am grateful to be over a month sober currently. March 1st will be Day 40 for me. Thinking up ways I can treat this self for trying to remain with unpleasant feelings and not numb out. How is everyone doing? …