I messed up. I've been doing so good

Recovery
#1

I messed up. I've been doing so good uggg. Got back to the gym reading the Bible.
I'm sick of this crap I want to live a normal life and be healthy but I can't seem to shake this monkey of my back.
I've been under alot of stress at work. I own a small trucking company and I'm pretty much always dealing with customers, break downs, drivers paperwork, repairing trucks and trailers. So I'm staying busy but at times I over work myself and that's when it happens. I'm a crutch drinker so I can be at a sport bar or party and not have a drink. It happens when I have issues and I'm stressed out. It use to be beers now I'm drinking bottles of liquor so it's scary. I needs some encouragement I wish I had someone I can call or chat when I'm feeling the urge. My girlfriend just puts me down and makes me feel like crap. She's been there for good and bad I love her but I wish she would listen and understand me.

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#2

Get into a group. 12 steps worked for me, but try everything you can. Surround yourself with people who have been where you’ve at and now have the sobriety you want.

Isolation is recipe for relapse.

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#3

Thank you Michael for sharing your thoughts. I totally understand. I too own a small business. It can be very overwhelming at times. Like Craig says, 12 step program is where it’s at. I’m currently working AA’s program. I’m on my 4th step and practice steps 1-3 daily. I attended meetings and help others where I can. My sobriety date is 11-26-19. Get to a meeting. Read recovery material. Listen to the audio recordings on this app. The podcast interviews are packed full of information on what one can do.
Focus on your sobriety and not what you want others to act like. I too played the actor and producer of my own show. It doesn’t work. Find you, be you, love you.

#4

I was the same way alcohol was my go to If I was sad or Angry or had a bad day at work. It always made me feel better in the moment. But nothing was ever resolved I spent a ton of money and felt like crap the next day. Stick to it. In the long run it makes for a better life. Im only 11 months sober but my life has changed for the better.