The rooms of recovery gives me space to share the darkness I’m feeling in my personal life.
Because of my addiction my family is no longer with me for the time being.
I’m not sure when or if we’ll ever live under the same roof again.
My oldest son is autistic. I had to make the toughest decision in my life. I had to place him in a home that provides everything thing he needs to live a quality of life.
He has resources that sadly, I can’t afford at this point. Do you know how it feels to feel to feel hopeless and defeated that you don’t have what you need to provide what your kid needs that you can’t give them?
I’ve had to put that situation in the very back of my subconscious mind.
For years, I felt like I abandoned my son. My mother, before she went home to be with the Lord gave me a very hard time 🥲 about my decision.
In my family, no matter what’s going on with your child you NEVER abandon them. You never give your kids away. That’s the way my family and previous generations were taught and believed.
Before our country became more educated on the different mental health and mental illnesses children / adults may suffer from, our parents wasn’t educated on if your child had ADD, ADHD, severe mood disorders, schizophrenia, autism, just name of few that people go through.
It’s not that I abandoned son. It was about me putting my pride aside and do what’s best for my son. In the end, however, she completely understood why my decision benefited my son. 
My baby boy is mainstream. He is an Angel like his big brother but he is a little firecracker like his mom & I. But my old behaviors that I displayed in my addiction caused me to lose them too. It’s my fault because I have the ability to control my thoughts and behavior, how I respond to outside environments.
I’m just feeling the blues today by not having my family with me.
Thanks for letting me share.
It’s hard but I definitely understand you doing what’s right by him that takes a lot of courage right there 
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