I need help, I want to start having s€x but I don’t know how to go about it. I don’t want to go on known trashy hook up apps but I also do t feel comfortable going up to people in public asking to be a fwb. What do I do? My s€x drive at an all time high since k haven’t had s€x in 10 month. Any suggestions ??
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I think this is a relevant question of recovery. We as humans, sober or otherwise have physical needs. I think first we need to take a deep look first at our sexual conduct by being rigorously honest with what we are actually looking for and need. Then we need to meet someone that is looking for the same thing and communicate it well so we are not going to hurt others. The AA book tells us a bit about looking at ourselves sexually and making sure we are not destructive in any way. There are a lot of different relationship styles and if it’s fully consensual and well communicated it should be good. I’m sure with time and patients you can find someone that’s on the same page
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I checked my intentions and I’m pretty sure I’m being more honest with myself than trying to justify why I should have s€x. Like you said at the end of the day we are all humans. I think s€x is such a powerful connection when 2 people who express similar s€xual interest are engaging in such connection. Like I said it starts with intention. Thank you for your recommendation. 
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Dylan, this is dealt with in the steps. I suggest that you work the steps with your sponsor. If you don’t have one get one.
I also recommend reading through the 12 &12.
The instinctual drives usually are overindulged with we alcoholics. That’s why it is dealt with in the steps.
What Matt said plus…
In my experience, friends with benefits has always turned into someone catching feelings. It wasn’t always me. This gets complicated and messy when feelings aren’t reciprocated. Just food for thought.
I am in the same place. My wife left about 6 months ago, no s3x since then. I am nervous about catching feelings, Zanjan said. I just went through heart break and I don’t want to do that again. Thanks to God and my AA family, I stayed sober. When I know don’t want to do anything because I am still married. One night I was lonely and got on Plenty of Fish. 7/7 women I contacted turned out to be scammers, one even tried to black mail me. So I have decided to let it be what it will be. It took about 15 months but I am finally starting to see things clearly again.
I think the hardest thing for
Me
Once I got sober was sober s£x lol I’d been drinking for years and ol everything just felt so
Different AND I could
Remember everything the next day lol
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Online dating sucks, but tinder is the go to place for a fwb. Girls just wanna have fun too…until we get crazy. Good luck!
I had this talk with all the girls in rehab... They were saying "I don't know how to have s@x sober". I said "maybe we should all practice together". And that is how it was...
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For me since I quit drinking I have no desire to have s3x. Especially casual s3x. I need attraction AND chemistry. I do have a fwb he's alot younger than me and also sober. But im not really interested in that anymore. So until someone sparks my interest I'm content being by myself.
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