I need some insight friends. I am close to 1.7 years sober. I am very thankful that I don’t think of alcohol often and I don’t have the urge that was plaguing my mind at the beginning. Like many addicts I have encountered I came into sobriety with alcoholism obviously but mental probs such as depression and anxiety. I’m waiting to get into a therapist. Waiting for them to reply. So, I want to ask if anyone else with ta year and a half just doesn’t feel happy? I never had that “pink cloud” period and quit frankly I’m kind of glad of it because it seemed just like a temporary high then it dissipates. Or thats what I saw in the sobriety house I was in at the beginning. I don’t have the yearn for alcohol but I am really struggling in finding enjoyment with sobriety. I think it might even be as simple as my geographical location that is not stimulating me. I live in Kansas haha. Mathematically the state is flatter than your average flap jack, no ocean, and all people do here is drink for entertainment. It doesn’t shock me because I was born and raised here. Besides the lackluster I have with the geography around me I have found myself very unsocial. Can’t find motivation to be around many people anymore. I work constantly two jobs just to keep my mind occupied because it’s racing all the time.
I guess I am looking for some insight. Maybe some tips? Like I said I’m waiting to get into therapy which I look forward to and am hopeful for. Maybe I am just progressing much slower than most others at the time in sobriety?
Sounds like a plateau. I am just over a year and I have had the pink cloud… still riding it. I am also bi polar, so my meds have been crucial for me. If you are just plain “blah” I would say maybe it is time to change some stuff up. I grew up in Milwaukee… talk about a drinking crowd…but I found if I allowed myself to have fun, I did. You are still a person, and the addiction doesn’t define you. I still camp, play golf, hunt, fish… I can even go to a bar to listen to music for short periods (I leave when people start getting too drunk and annoying, not because of wanting a drink) the biggest thing I have learned was to give myself permission to love life. Therapy should help as well. Be open to suggestions and meds if offered. Good luck man.
Thanks Tim for that. Therapy is a must because I can tell something is just off. I have been to bars a couple times and it doesn’t bother me but the same, I leave when the crowd gets crazy. I’m just really struggling with learning to love to live life. I don’t know if it’s a plateau because I haven’t really had a good day in my sobriety even though my life has vastly improved when it comes to having a place, money , work, but I just feel like a robot going through daily motions.
I went through something similar to you. I got to about my 20 month mark and relapsed. Then I went to see a psychiatrist for depression and anxiety. They put me on Effexor which took about a month to start feeling it work but it does help with both depression and anxiety. After years of drinking and using, our brains no longer release the natural levels of serotonin and dopamine that our brain needs. Sometimes It can take a long time for our brains to start producing these natural leves or for our brains to get use to being back at a natural level. That's where the meds come in handy.
I also started doing some one on one and group therapy for some combat related trauma. Which has helped tremendously imo. Although the group therapy sessions are nearly just like any AA, NA or any other type of meeting out there. Except the group therapy isn't a 12 step based program.
Hi Greg, I understand the feeling of just not being happy with life. I have bipolar disorder, so that definitely plays a role in my mood. One resource that has really helped me to find joy in each day is Rob Bell’s An Introduction to Joy on YouTube. It is fantastic in helping to do that mind reframe. If you ever need to talk you are welcome to message me.
Hi, thanks Jen I appreciate all that. I’ll check out that you tube thread.
Greg: Please check out 12 Step meetings on Zoom. You don’t have to turn on your camera or say anything if you don’t want. One can just listen. There’s a rule of thumb when checking out new fellowships: Make at least SIX meetings to see if they work for you. And they don’t have to be all the same meeting, just fellowship. (It’s “unofficial,” but it works!)
If you are isolating don’t.not good for use.any kind of meetings.get out to meet people.aa meetings-meetings.aa. Org.
I feel ya!