I need someone to talk to here. Hey guys. So iv been going pretty strong 7 months sober. But about 8 months ago. The day that made me quit drinking I said some really nasty things that I don’t even believe in. And of course everyone from all aspects of my life were there. Or so I think. I vaugly remember the day and my brain is filling in the blanks in the worst way. My friends said I didn’t say anything bad and that everyone loves me but I think they are just being nice as they know I’m a really empathic person and that if I said anything bad I may harm myself. Like I said this bad day happened over 6 months ago. But all the bad memories are starting to come back. It may not help I haven’t left my apartment since that day really. I do have plans to move back with family soon. I’m just nervous I’ll never be able to get over that day and ever enjoy my life again. Especially with how society is these days with Instagram and LinkedIn. It’s like you can never really leave the past in the past. I need help badly. How do you forget the past. Iv come so far in my recovery. But this one bad day may actually be the death of me.
Mike, the Big Book tells us “we shall not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it”
When I came to the rooms my life was unmanageable. By going to meetings, reading the big book and getting a sponsor, I learned to practice the first thru third steps. I suggest you start at step 1.
It’s not so much about forgetting the past as it is learning from it and preparing your future based on that. You have to get to a point where you can forgive yourself for things you might have done or said in an addictive state. While AA meetings and the big book can help, it’s not for everybody, and there are other methods for moving on and living a full life worthy of what you can do. While we all suffer from the same disease, with similar substances, our recovery is individual to us. So what works for one may not work for the other. AA and the book and meetings, and NA did absolutely nothing for me. I had to find other ways. Do some reading, there are tons of books out there that can help, and get yourself into something positive and productive. If you’re not already. As you grow from this, you will start to forgive yourself. And then you won’t have to forget the past, but can use it to better your future. Reach out if you need to man, I’ve been there and have experience as I am in recovery myself and I’ve also been a licensed clinical addictions/mental health therapist. You can do this man.
This helped me more than you will probably know. Thank you so much. I know I’m still pretty young at 30. But it feels like my life is over already. 7 months strong. Gotta keep going
Have you tried in person meetings? Getting a sponsor and working the steps could really help you with this especially when it comes to the mid steps and help you heal and forgive yourswlf
I hope I can be of help to you. I’m 37, and I used to feel that same way. I’ve been an addict and alcoholic since age 17. It took me until just a few years ago to finally see my life for what it’s worth. In a way, that’s a normal feeling, not a great one, but somewhat normal. The thing is, you see that now. And I’m sure you don’t like it and don’t want it. Now, with several clean months under your belt, you have an opportunity to make your future. Only we can make our own futures. You’ve been strong enough to get sober, that tells me you’re strong enough to forgive yourself and take those experiences and make it right. It does take some time, but let it come to you.