I need to be sober!

I had the worst week of my life. From 12/5/23-12/10/23. I don't think I drank much but I took 1/2 ounce or 15 ml of Ativan. I don't remember the first or the last sip. It is 1 mg per 1 milliliter. I'm sure blessed I didn't die. It was an overdose level. I had a wreck. Don't know much about that. I got pulled over. Made it away from that. Don't know if I ate, screwed or hurt someone. Day 12/10/23. I woke up in my bed. Dented car, no hangover but anxious and afraid of what I did. I didn't spend any money but I remember going to the casino where I had a brief conversation that I knew I had hit something. I won't be going back there. Afraid I'm banded and barred. I had no food at home 2 cans of soda, frozen mango and chicken nuggets. The phone was off and couldn't pay my bill because my card was blocked by my bank. I didn't go to work or called in with some muffled complaint. I really am scared but if I haven't reached my bottom then when? I don't want to die, I don't want any illness like liver failure or pancreatitis or worse. I have a decent job, good kids and family with grandkids but what the heck do I keep doing this for? It's not fun it's terrifying. Can anyone relate. 3 days sober

Yes and feeling good with a thought of temptation but taking a breath and pushing past it

Glad youre here!

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