I needed to ponder this. I've been unfairly judged -

I needed to ponder this. I've been unfairly judged - actually disowned by my children. I was a very young (teen) Mom and did the best I could to raise two children after choosing to flee their abusive paternal family and raise them on my own. That wasn't enough for them and they sat me down two years ago to formally disown me. They listed many different reasons that I don't have a place in their lives or family and at the top of the list was my addiction.
I laughed at that at the time. I wasn't even drinking much at that time and aside from alcohol, consuming a little cannabis from time to time definitely didn't seem like problem level addiction behaviors. I felt like I had it under control. In reality, that was one thing that they were right about. I regret not being there for them and choosing to party a bit. I justified my behaviors by the fact that I always kept them fed, clothed, sheltered, and they always had so much.. way more than I'd ever had anyway.
Well, here I am in recovery and I'm going to sort out the stuff inside me that made me an addict. Not for them. I did enough for them. I'm doing it for me.
And I won't ever judge ANYONE for their own behaviors. I accept all of it. The only thing I can control is who I choose to spend my energy on.

Thanks for listening.

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I was too. It took over 4 years for my grown kids to allow me back in their life. There is hope. Stay strong

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Look into ACA. Adult children of alcoholic and dysfunctional childhoods. I had the same story as you. The Aca program has changed my life. All relationships healed and has brought so much clarity and healing to myself.

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Thank you for the recommendation. I'll look into it.
I'm in the middle of a toxic cycle with my family. Lots of members have disowned others and now it's just my the older half brothers who I stay in touch with.
I'd love to be able to heal.

Yup me too. I feel ACA is the way out.

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I am finally spending energy on myself and not giving it away….two kinds of people in the world..cake and cake eaters….no longer letting fear allow my cake to be eaten by those I thought I needed…know that you are wise enough…maybe not all the time but knowing you are enough is very humbling in a profound way…I wish you the best in your new definitions…

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I have similar problems with my 3 kids.. After 11 years I’m trying to just go my own way without malice and let the universe take care of the rest. Stay strong and I will try to do that too:)

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