I needed to ponder this. I've been unfairly judged - actually disowned by my children. I was a very young (teen) Mom and did the best I could to raise two children after choosing to flee their abusive paternal family and raise them on my own. That wasn't enough for them and they sat me down two years ago to formally disown me. They listed many different reasons that I don't have a place in their lives or family and at the top of the list was my addiction.
I laughed at that at the time. I wasn't even drinking much at that time and aside from alcohol, consuming a little cannabis from time to time definitely didn't seem like problem level addiction behaviors. I felt like I had it under control. In reality, that was one thing that they were right about. I regret not being there for them and choosing to party a bit. I justified my behaviors by the fact that I always kept them fed, clothed, sheltered, and they always had so much.. way more than I'd ever had anyway.
Well, here I am in recovery and I'm going to sort out the stuff inside me that made me an addict. Not for them. I did enough for them. I'm doing it for me.
And I won't ever judge ANYONE for their own behaviors. I accept all of it. The only thing I can control is who I choose to spend my energy on.
Thanks for listening.
