I reached 45 days of sobriety from Alcohol for the first time in 12 years today. Thats huge for me. I’ve continued on, but my mental is garbage right now. I thought i would be happier, but day by day it’s getting worse and worse. I dont know what to do.
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It is common for things to get worse before they get better, especially in the first few years. You are not alone. If you are part of a recovery community, reach out and connect with your people. If not, plug in. Don't pick up no matter what. This, too, shall pass.
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I don’t have any community but this at the moment. I have been doing all of this alone.
Well that sounds painful, for sure! Are you willing to explore a recovery community in your area?
I gently urge you to look up Annie Grace … she’s the absolute best in the field of sobriety!!! I borrowed both of her books from the library. Her 1st book This Naked Mind is VERY enlightening!! Her 2nd book The Alcohol Experiment is also very informative. Annie Grace will help you reverse all the brain washing that society has taught us about alcohol being “normal”. She will help you let go of your false beliefs & see the ethanol for what it is …poison!!! Her method works! I have no more desire for alcohol & without desire, there is no temptation. That doesn’t mean that life won’t still get “lifey”. We all still have problems but you will be better able to cope after you let go of your false beliefs about alcohol. She has a free app called This Naked Mind Companion app where you can get free support. She has some a podcast & answers readers questions on YouTube too! Check her out & good luck 
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Nathan, awesome on the 45! In my experience I had gotten sober multiple times, only to relapse due to my crazy mind/addiction. Finally I surrendered to the program of AA. Whoo what a relief!!!! There are people similar to me who are supportive and smart:) that like to help.
My ego/addiction was cunning, powerful and baffling👺. I needed my peeps to help me. 15+ years of grateful sobriety.
I’m here if you want to talk.
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It’s very common and something I’ve experienced. I keep going. Read books, attended meetings and found people I could share my feelings with. At time’s I had to do what I was told to do from others even when it was hard to do, but it worked. I went to school, listened to podcasts and the relatability to others not only made me feel comfortable it made me feel I wasn’t the only one going through it. I stands by building a starting foundation. Tapping into a power greater than ourselves. Keep going!
Your not alone with this. I'm glad to hear it takes awhile to feel more relief. I was feeling I was alone in this. So glad I have this group to talk things out and feel a sense of community.
I just have to say thank you. I'm sober approximately 30 days. Today has been a tough one.
Are you willing to try inpatient, that really helped me with my first 89 days sober from alcohol in a supportive environment