Laura u r correct I work i at a mental health crisis center.988 or 211. Please know hun that u r reaching out for help there is hope! Please talk to someone.if u want to reach out to me personally u can do so.I will pray for u.
My message was for the OP. I am a therapist. Thank you for all you do! 
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Ditto and ty for ur services too!!
Stay strong and stay HERE, people love you even if u dont know them yet
Stay strong!! Praying for strength!
I understand you, the feeling after a screw up is awful. I am a newly sober female and looking for like minded people who understand what its like to go through these things for someone to talk to. If you would like to, please feel free to comment on my comment or message if you can through this app! I am new to the app as well. Just remember there is always opportunity, you have not lost all of your progress because of this. I recently blew close to 600 when I relapsed this last time. We are all in it together.
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Praying for you all is well 
I feel you. Sometimes itās nice to hear from others you donāt know about the situation. Thereās your signā¦.. if you were ready to give up that question would have never crossed your mind & heart.