I really take pleasure in sharing my story with others. I speak at meetings more often these days. And I love how it inspires new comers. There is always hope. Even when it's dark you can see light again.
Knowing I was an alcoholic at 15 years old was hard. I had my first drinks well before I was 10. I never dealt with my personal issues growing up. I never felt like I was normal. I had fears, anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts growing up. I found alcohol at a very young age. I made me feel happy, accepted, courageous, and confident. I used alcohol and drugs to solve my life issues. 5 years of drugs and alcohol made me broken by the age of 20. I admitted defeat from drugs, I got clean from drugs. But a few months later I was lonely stressed and depressed. I found alcohol again as a way to bury my emotions. I drank heavily for 16 more years. It started with drinking on weekends, then after work a few nights a week, then it became 5 nights a week. I moved, swore I'd never have alcohol in the house which I was 90% of the time successful, how ever I'd go to the bar 5 nights a week. When I drank I always drank more then everyone else, I couldn't control how much I'd drink. Then covid hit. I could no longer go to the bars, I started drinking at home by myself every night. I was drinking myself to death. I'd drink 30 beers a night. And I did that every day for 3 years. I did not miss a day to drink. How I functioned to keep my job was absolutely amazing. Functional alcoholic. But I was actually dieing inside. Alcohol did become the rapacious creditor that bleed me dry. My health was terrible, and I was not having any bit of happiness. I knew that alcohol was always the problem. I hope at least one person can be helped by this message.