I really want to stay sober today I have court

I really want to stay sober today I have court the 4 th I messed up a bit cause I just wouldn't bend their way it doesn't matter today I just gotta surrender because if I dont I'll be drinking and drugging a ND losing my meds it's like everyone all of a sudden just list respect for me I guess it's my fault I wasn't in my right mind but it's like I've never done any good just bad