I refuse to be that monster anymore. One day of drinking leads into a month binge. IT ENDS TODAY. I cannot keep doing this to myself. & family. I need all the positive vibes
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Stay here.
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We can not do sober alone. A program of some sort is needed. We can help hear as much as possible but the accountability and honesty comes from being in the rooms with others who have been there.
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I agree with Taylor and Tim, stay here, keep coming, and surround yourself with alcoholics/addicts in recovery. I always failed when I tried it by myself, even though I meant I was quitting each time. Listening to AA YouTube videos helped me stay away from the drink, and now there are meetings online every hour on the hour. Keep your head up you don’t have the tools yet, but if you stick around a find a sponsor, you too can acquire them 
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I believe in you. How are you holding up? If you slip it’s okay it’s not the end of the world. Just back up dust yourself off and get back at it!
Added you!
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Me too. One day led to 6 month binge. Ugh.
Great advice!
Thank you all very much.