I relapsed after 2 weeks, keep going in and out with 1 day binges.. I promised my son I would not drink when I babysat and did. He is so mad and rightly so.. I am so shamed, I don’t know why I do this. He does not want to talk to me, how much time do I give him?I have to show him I am to be trusted, which will take time and I understand. I am hoping he will come around with my husband and not deny me seeing kids. Breaks my heart
2 Likes
Take a breath. Have you been to a meeting of some kind? AA worked for me but there are a bunch of other sober programs out there. We can not do this alone. The fellowship and accountability you will find are a huge help. You are right it is going to take time to prove you want to change. Don’t try to fix everything right now. You need to address YOU. The fixing comes later.
3 Likes
I suggest going to a meeting. If you truly want to stop. I pray for your healing. Your son will come around when he see you making progress. With my son I didn’t say anything to him about what I was going to do for my recovery. I just showed him and continue to do so by working a program of recovery. It’s by our action not words that gains their trust back!
1 Like
I’m going through the same thing with my daughter my granddaughter is four and I haven’t seen her in almost 2 weeks. This is day one for me I’m trying to find some local AA meetings and some sober people to hang out with I’m having a hard time navigating on this site. What area do you live in? I’m in auburn wa. How old is your grandchild? 
1 Like
I think the only thing that will show him your changing is to get and stay sober. That’s when the trust will start to rebuild. I know it’s easier said than done but my best of luck to you 
How much time do you give him?? I'm afraid that's not quite right. You give him all the time he wants. What you should be really concerned with is "how much time should he give me?". I don't say that to sound abrasive, I'm simply trying to reframe the question so that you're being clear and honest with yourself. You've disappointed him. And in doing so you've disappointed yourself. Tune your way of thinking to be outside of yourself and a lot more things will make a lot more sense. It's clear you understand you're in a dillema. And it's clear that you understand that Theresa lot to lose. Sadly, even our kids aren't always the motivation required to get sober. Because it can't be about anyone but yourself. Getting sober for other people just leads to blame vectoring and resentment. Trust me, I know all too well because I tried (and failed) to get sober for other people, kids included, a lot of times before it clicked. Now, in the end - my kids were my ultimate motivation for getting sober. But it had to be about me wanting to just want a new life. Not sure what you mean by saying baby sitting, are you talking about your son? Because we never babysit our own kids. We parent them. If you're drinking while babysitting anyone's kids, I'd say your first move is to remove yourself from the situation especially if you've identified it being your trigger. Have you had any success with meetings? Are you investing yourself into healthy alternative lifestyles or ways of thinking? Nothing changes until something changes. So you've got to be compelled to change at least one thing. I promise you it'll be a big step even if just a baby step. From there you change a little bit more. Put enough baby steps together and next thing you know, you've walked across a canyon. That's the achievement you're looking for and it is achievable! Hang in there. Give the boy some time. They want to love their parents. But they NEED to be able to trust their parents. You can do this.
Have you thought about checking yourself into a treatment center to help you with this and so you can safely detox?
I am so proud of you for making it 2 weeks! That’s huge, and do not minimize that.
It is totally normal to feel shame, but I also want you to remember that you are stronger than your addiction. All you can do is your best. Do your best, be sober, be the best you - your son will see that. They will both (son and husband) come around.
The best advice I can offer is to keep in mind that you already made it two weeks, remember that and how much your son means to you. One day. That’s what helps me. Not counting the days, but saying “hey, I didn’t drink today”
1 Like
Stacey I am fairly new to site also, I read all the time but never participate. This is an excellence site I also do a lot of AA zoom on line. I have 6 grandchildren from 2 sons. I have had a year of sobriety and then relapsed. I usually will only binge for one day, don’t know why I do it. Just have to keep trying. I am in Michigan. I wish you well on your journey also.