I relapsed on day 31. My longest stretch was a month & some change before that and I was hoping to pass that. The anxiety I had the next day was so bad I physically felt horrible and out of body (dissociation). I just stayed in bed like a zombie watching tv. It went away after a bit and now I’m okay. I’ve always been way to hard on myself so I won’t do that. I’ll just reset and learn. Any tips would be helpful. If I’m being honest with myself I think my adderoll triggers it. But it’s so helpful when i use it correctly. Correctly is the key word here😥 Thanks!
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I hear ya, Riley. That dread & anxiety of the next day sux! I use that to not drink. I feel so good every day I don’t drink, I think if that. I think, “hey! I don’t HAVE to drink today!” I remind myself of these things and they really help. Poisoning yourself with horrible thoughts or drugs/alcohol is not being kind to yourself. One thing/moment/day/whatever at a time. Use the relapse as a learning experience if you can. Best to you!
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I am the same way, I hate the way I feel emotionally and physically after. It’s just one of the many motivations not to use. Remember one day at a time. Have faith in yourself. You can do it.
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hey girl, you’re not alone, last week i finally achieved 30 days, and on day 31 relapsed and had a drink. and i know what you mean i am prescribed adderall and sometimes adderall just gives me anxiety and i need the edge off. felt all the same feelings and then some. the guilt that comes the next day after finding out what you have done or said is what gets me the most bc that’s not who i am when i am clear headed and sober. i have 6 days back now. i was clean for 7 years of opiates and any other substance under the sun you can name (except alcohol) - with the help of suboxone. came off subs in november bc i didn’t want to be “a slave” to yet another medicine but right away i notice i am drinking way more than ever before. i never in a million years thought quitting alcohol would be the hardest for me…you had 30 days and you will have them again. if one day at a time seems like to much take it one minute at a time bc sometimes that is all you can do. and don’t use of course 
!
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This post resonated with me so so much! Thank you! It’s so helpful hearing these stories. I can’t tell you how ashamed I feel for the things I say and do when drinking as well! I hate the saying “drunken words are sober thoughts” or whatever it is. I am such a different person drunk. I contact people I don’t like and would never talk to sober and I just hate that I opened that can of worms. Congrats on your 6 days! You’ve overcome so much - we got this !!
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