I relapsed on Saturday through Sunday, I feel so deeply ashamed. I'm always so adamant that i can handle everything on my own, that I do not need any ones help yet I relapsed once more. Something is wrong with the way I think, why do I need to prove to myself that I can handle everything alone?
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It’s your ego
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Welcome back, take it one day at a time, it’s only a lapse if you stop now and get back on track, there’s no reason you can’t start accepting the help and support you deserve.
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Is my ego not letting me see the truth?
It's not necessarily your ego, but the voice of your addiction. Believe me when I say this, because I know. My addiction tells me all kinds of crazy stuff! Have you ever tried going to a meeting on Zoom?
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Hey Travis, we're all in this together. It may be possible to handle a ton on our own, but I find joy in sharing efforts with persons I know. I wouldn't dig too deep into the 'why', but rather what you're going to do today, and tomorrow.