I relapsed on thanksgiving. i only have a day sober

Recovery
#1

i relapsed on thanksgiving. i only have a day sober. i was about to have eighty. i don’t even care

8 Likes
#3

i feel so stupid. it was free. i shouldn’t have done it. i actually have two days sober i miscounted but this week would’ve been three months. i hate day counting it makes you feel like the time didn’t matter

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#4

I relapsed after over 10.5 years clean. I don't feel like that time didn't matter. Was it stupid? Yes. Did I regret it? Absolutely. But, IMHO, any clean time matters. You've proven to yourself that you can get 3 months. Now, dust yourself off, and do it again. Relapse is a part of many people's story, including mine.

6 Likes
#5

Some people find it better for themselves if they don’t count the time. Remember, you didn’t LOSE that time you had. You still have everything you gained/learned during that time. :heart:
Give yourself some grace. We really are too hard on ourselves.

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#6

Agree with cady, we are too hard on ourselves. Those 79 days (or however many it was) is still great progress and I still want you to be proud of yourself.

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#7

It’s still 2 days more sober than if you had been drinking for the past eighty. So count your wins.

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#8

We ALL started with ONE DAY. :blush::heart:

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#9

thank you guys so much for the replies. i’m too exhausted to reply to them all right now but it made me feel a lot better

1 Like
#10

You can do it again. Retrying is what is needed at times. Good on you.

#11

You don’t care?! Man, I do! Almost 80 days is incredible! You are amazing. I’m inspired sitting here with my five days. One day doesn’t take that ~80 days away. That’s a lie. Tell it to go somewhere unpleasant.

2 Likes
#12

Stop worrying about yesterday and tomorrow. Yesterday is a memory and tomorrow isn't guaranteed.

Just for today. Just worry about today.

#13

You’ve made so much progress, Luna! A relapse doesn’t erase all of that, even if it feels like it.:heart:

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#14

:pray:t4: glad you made it back.

#15

you’re right.

#16

i need to get out of the mindset that erases the time

1 Like
#17

Luna
Back in the 90s I was the king of relapse. It took me many years of hardship to understand why I was relapsing in the first place. It's outlined in a chapter of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous entitled the doctor's opinion.

The reason that you relapsed is simply because you believed the lie;
That this time, everything will be okay. But it never is, is it?

I want you to hold on to what you're feeling right now for as long as possible and remember this the next time. We have to learn to play the scene forward. What happens when you pick up a drink?

You start to feel good for a while but sooner or later you are right back where you started at this moment. Only now you have more shame to carry around because you realize that you accomplished absolutely nothing.

I've never heard of anyone going back out, coming back and saying that everything got better.

Learn from this lesson and move on. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. What you do with it is up to you.

#18

I hate the day counting things too!!! I was at 32 days a fell off at thanksgiving for 4 days. My Therapist said if it discourages you to start over just subtract. So started counting up from 28 so I am at 31. Feels better :sunny:

#19

Don’t beat yourself up over it, trust me I have been there once you know the reason for your relapse trust me I been quite a few times and two it’s not easy you just got to take it one day a time. You got this okay