It’s expensive when you buy from a dispensary. Not worth it when I think about the amount of debt I’m drowning in. I didn’t consider it an addiction because everyone I know smokes but since I haven’t smoked it feels like it’s all I think about. It makes me want to drink more because I’ve removed another vice. My brain is like, “well drinking is cheaper anyway.”
The other day I went to the bodega and literally grabbed a beer out of instinct. Like I didn’t even think about it. I was completely on autopilot. My saving grace was that it was too early to legally purchase one.
The way the cashier looked at me made me feel awful about myself. His judgmental gaze rattled me and I ran out of the store. I’m putting myself in timeout and staying in the house for the next week.