When does all that happiness and belonging and companionship come thst everyone was telling me I didn't have because I wasn't sober? Where is it? They say winners don't use ...well yeah, they won and they don't need to but not everyone wins and the rest need ways to cope. I was promised happiness and better friends and my phone was shut off 2 weeks, when it came back on I had recieved 4 phone service notif texts and 1 message from a dealer and nothing else. So sorry I know they're not really my friends, but I don't have anyone else that comes close to the description of friend. Last friend I thought I had, decided it would be best to tell my family thst I had been harassing her for years; she told me I can turn to her anytime I need someone... didn't realize needing someone during a bad time was more like harassing her. I haven't spoken to her since then. The other people I've let close have lied to me and got me so distraught and betrayed and hurt thst now I don't trust anything and I hear whispers plotting against me thst I can recognize isn't reasonable unless it's in my head and I'm started to go schizophrenic. Was taken 5150 Wednesday night, victim to domestic attack on Thursday. And haven't had a friend or friendly conversation since. Actually have yet to see someone at all today. And today almost over. I'm already forgotten. So why should I be sober? Nothing changes except it makes it easier for me to have to deal with all this. No friends, no home, no love. No trust. No future and no hope. No change if I to use right now. Except I'd be more content with all this
