I think im going to pick up writing in meetings again. It seemed pretty beneficial for me to develop a connection between my thoughts and memory. Also, I find myself feeling lonely or like i should pursue a relationship, but at the same time, a great deal of fear about whether i will once again put myself on the sideline and prioritize the other persons needs over my own or if I'll be jeopardizing their sobriety and my own. If you have any advice, let me know. Thank you.
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Writing is a great idea, especially because you find it helps. That's a sign you do know healthy choices and something to be proud of especially when in doubt.
I struggled with the loneliness too. I found going to meetings was the best practice I can have a finding how to have a balanced relationship... before getting into an intimate one. I'm at almost 1,000 days and I go back & forth on the loneliness and being ok with it. I know I need to work on myself to show up the best way possible for my next partner. It will come after doing the important work. Hang in there!
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I love to write in meetings. I write down things people say that stick out to me, how I relate to the shares, and sometimes what I want to share. I have ADHD and this helps me track along.
I’m finding that a lot of us addicts/alcoholics are also people pleasers. That’s something I told my sponsor (I also told my therapist! Lol) I want to work on. Hope this makes sense and is helpful for you.
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If memory serves me, your past posts have talked about your joy of writing. So I’d say, yeah, 100% get back to writing in meetings.
As for relationships, I don’t think any of us can (or should 
) tell you what to do. But we can provide our own perspectives. For me, I’m not actively pursuing, but if something comes along naturally I’m comfortable with where I’m at in life and I will embrace it. But for that relationship to work I’ll need to be myself and continue to live my life confidently. Not looking back at what happened in the past, and not looking too far ahead with worry about what might (or might not) happen. Just living my best life one day at a time with someone that adds to the joy I already have. Good luck Cameron!
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The main thing concerning me is whether im searching for happiness through someone else or someone to share happiness with. I go to a meeting every day and sometimes 2 but other than that I dont really socialize too much and my weekends are rather dull. Its just spending time on my bank account and spending time on my sobriety which is great. But I feel like I should find something else to make life more fulfilling. I may get a team together to play ice hockey with so that will help with the lonely feelings.
I went through and deleted a few apps I had because I would much rather have a genuine and organic relationship with someone developed in person rather than behind a screen. I have always been a bit shy and timid and overwhelming cowardice when it comes to affection and intimacy. The only problem i forsee with that is I am not a very social person. it's getting better daily, I just have some reservations about developing feelings for someone in meetings I attend regularly. I dont get out much to meet people anywhere else.
I have found that aca has helped a lot with my ability to separate myself from others. However, i still feel a great deal of responsibility for others' well-being. I think i have been too focused on bringing an individual into my life rather than spending time outside of meetings with friends and the community I've made.
Thank you, everyone, for your experience strength and hope I appreciate it.
I hear you Cameron
A couple other ideas if you feel up for it. Is there a writing club you could join? Are there volunteer opportunities in your area for a cause you feel strongly about? Maybe joining those to meet some new people? They’re events / causes you feel strongly about and attend (not with intent to meet ‘someone’) but to make new friends and do something you enjoy. Again, I know we don’t know each other that well so I’m not trying to push you in any way, but sometimes a friendly nudge can be helpful 