I thought it would get easier faster.
I am almost 2 years sober and today was hard!!
I am on a beach vacation and everyone is drinking and having fun and I knew the craving would pass but then I was left with a hollow feeling.
As if the fun was missing.
I've had this feeling before but I thought I'd have moved past this by now.
I am just so tired of feeling like something is missing. Like I can't 'lighten' up. Like I can't just relax.
And I already know to play the tape. I know it ends badly if I drink.
I just wish I didn't miss it.
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Congrats on (almost)two years, Sheila. I wish I had some advice for you, but you are much further along in your recovery than I am. Just know you are not alone, we all understand and are with you.
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I have been there! It is frustrating and tempting. Don't give in!
I always say I'll just have one... But I know then I'd want another and then of course a third will be fine, and then I'm gone. It does not end well.
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10th step promise comes true: And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone – even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we have been placed in a position of neutrality – safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.
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Keep working steps, call program friends, it took me a while to learn to have fun in sobriety. 
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My sponsor would ask. So what’s the problem? Really
My point is, that it’s “time get down to causes and conditions” work the steps with your sponsor around these feelings. Self pity and ego can be rough. However, there is a solution.
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Thank you for your responses!
I don't know exactly how to articulate what I'm trying to say.
I am grateful to be sober!
I am a better version of myself.
Yesterday, I think it wasn't the alcohol as much as the freedom from before I knew I had this problem.
The way things were when I didn't have to constantly be telling myself I am better off without it. (A million times over)
I never want to fall back into that toxic behavior.
I never want to be that girl again!
I just miss when things were simpler, which is what I should've said.
Regardless, I know I have some things to work harder on after this trip!
I am grateful for this opportunity for self reflection.
And I am so grateful for this app and you lovely people!
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Well said. I’ve been In similar situations, and have felt the same way. Sometimes it’s frustrating that we can’t let go and drink carelessly like “everyone” else. I think it’s important that we talk about it. Don’t let those feelings fester and grow. One thing I try and tell myself after situations like this is that I do have a choice. I can take that drink like everyone else is, but I choose not to. I choose not to suffer the consequences. Thanks for sharing
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hi Sheila, congratulations on being sober for that long. Don’t give up your fight it gets better in time.I’m not gonna lie it’s hard but you have to stay strong this August I will be 11 years sober and it took me until about six years before I felt comfortable the truth and the reality is that almost anywhere you go serves alcohol and people drink eventually it will not bother you. There is another program to reach out to find sober like-minded people who do not use I'm a volunteer It is all over the United States. You can download the app it’s called The Phoenix.
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So maybe this helps maybe not. When this happened with me, it doesn't any longer, I would treat myself with something healthy. Iced chai latte or even non-alcoholic Heineken. A six pack would last me days. As everyone is loosening up, I would feed off of their fun. Happy that they were happy. Happy I did not break the bank. Happy for my liver. As the night grew late happy I was not obnoxious...
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Hello Sheila, nice job on your sobriety! A book Alan Carr's quit drinking without willpower has helped me to not miss alcohol, since the positive things I had attributed to it were all illusions.
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I have 4 years and sometimes I still get that super strong craving, and it’s still never easy.. I’m sorry ur having a rough time thou, hopefully tomorrows a better day! 🩷
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Hi Sheila, congrats on your milestone.
I also experienced the same feeling. When I finally started my long-term sobriety (36 years). I started reading self help books. The book I read that help with the feeling was "I'm OK your OK".
I found that what was happening to me was more on the subconscious. Dealing with the child inside me.
Like a lot of people know when you tell a child they can't do something, they go ahead and do it in spite.
So I started telling myself that I don't want to drink, especially when the feeling would come up.
I hope this helps you because you have come so far.
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I’ve definitely been there. I’ve been there this summer I find myself feeling like something is missing and everyone is having fun while I’m miserable I then remember my DUIs and my 23 months in state prison. I remember how far gone I was no regard for myself or anyone else. 1 drink became 2 then 22 then marriage turned to divorce and my 6 figures income became sleeping on random couches and unemployed. I thought I was having fun while I was drinking really I was destroying my life. Fun times…. You got this just remember you got this
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Something I found helpful, was to have empathy and compassion for yourself. As if a child again, or, just trying to be understanding. Like you're being your own nurturing mother in a way, if that makes sense. That really helped me sometimes when given that advice. You can be like, awe, I'm sorry you're having that empty feeling. It's okay. It's hard to be around this stuff and feel happy. It's my old lifestyle. I'm just a bit sad about it right now. And that's okay. It's like hugging yourself wherever you're at. Pause, and give yourself the time to consider your thoughts and feelings and Just listen. It's an inside Job. It's also really helpful when we have no one to call. We can call on ourselves and be there for ourselves. I hope that can help some. 
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Have you thought about taking a sober vacation? Also, do you have sober friends?
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That’s great. Congrats. I feel the same exact way. At about 18 months now. Beach and everything. Temptation has never been greater. Just gotta keep reminding yourself it isn’t fun anymore. Not for us. Maybe in the beginning but the ending isn’t a pretty one. One day at the beach isn’t worth a lifetime of regret. That’s me anyways. Keep your head up!
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It’s okay to miss things that you know aren’t good for you. It fades.
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Small town. Not much sober community out here.