I thought that today I would be able to quit — i thought i could talk myself into not using. I was wrong. I’m exhausted and I just want to stop using, and my life go back to normal. Is that even possible? Do you know of people who have the willpower to do so without rehab? I’m mainly worried about my job, my kid(my ex husband is very petty), and just judgement i guess. I’m so scared for the future.
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No I'm afraid those odds are extremely low. Find that 1 person you can reach out to and level with. I hope you get help Shelby, you are so young and this drug is keeping you from the life you deserve free of the chains of addiction. Invest in yourself now so you can have a future. N/A may be a lifeline for you
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I don't know of anyone that has had long term sobriety that hasn't worked a program, been of service, worked with someone in recovery and changed his/her life. Things change for the better. I get drunk alone, we get sober together.
I hope that you've found the gift of desperation so bad that working a simple program for complicated people is your next step.
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You need a program … will power alone will not last, trust me I’ve tried it in the past. Please attend NA meetings, several a week if you need to. Nothing changes if nothing changes 
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Cannot be done in isolation and without a higher power - let people help you
AA online meetings and in person. Al anon -when ready- has changed my life. You can only decide when you are sick and tired of being sick and tired. The first few months the support is so important. People do it everyday, the impossibility of sobriety is there, but it takes willingness and the overwhelming desire. I knew if I kept drinking I would die. So I had to be honest.
Your fears are valid. Walking into the unknown without what used to be your motivator or mask can feel like culture shock. It can feel raw. Exposed. But those same fears can become the fuel that drives you forward. You’ve got this.
Will power alone is hard but not impossible. Everybody is different and getting sober for everyone looks and happens differently. I was a lucky one to do it without going to rehab, but I did a few groups and some therapy at times to work on underlying issues. Keep pushing and find your way. Regardless of what that looks like, there’s no rules on how you have to get sober
There's a whole different life ahead of you that you don't get to see if you're using. When you're working on you, fake friends fall away and doors become unstuck!
Hope today's a better day then yesterday!
I’m not sure if will power is enough. It takes a community and accountability to really maximize the potential for healing
Accept the feeling
You can do it! You'll change your habits when you're sick of your own sh*t. I am almost 4 years sober and while the first few days I didn't think I'd make it through to a week, I was able to and have, focusing one day at a time. Its been really hard and i cant emphasize that enough but i did it with willpower alone. I haven't attended meetings or worked a program but I have delved into self discovery without substances, and I had a sobriety tracker, that tracker was so helpful in the first few days and weeks so I could see how long it had been, it helped me gain momentum. You CAN do it.
I didn't realize I should have been under medical supervision because I had temors and visual auras, cold sweats and dry heaves, but I managed to get through. You'll make the point to stop when you tell yourself you're stronger than the substance and you're giving your power away each time you use. You'll gain so much self respect and momentum. I'm rooting for you, YOU CAN DO IT. much love, sister. 
My life is chock full of folks who quit meth, heroin, fentanyl and alcohol without rehab. I'd venture for me, maybe 50/50. It takes lots of work and your life can't look the same anymore in almost all aspects. Just to be frank. This is a good thing however, cause even that which we think we are happy with we merely tolerate bc we haven't yet found a better way...
Well, there are some many better ways available. Enjoy the journey, you've got this.
I tried to quit using for 40 years and when I finally got the gift of desperation I decided to go to treatment one last time. This time was different though I worked the 12 step program got a sponsor and I finally accepted that I will never do this on my own.Tjem I turned my will over because I finally realized that after 40 years I couldn't do it my way because it never worked for me. I know you are struggling with the idea of asking for help but all I can say is 3 months of treatment and an honest attempt is far better now than 40 years of continuous efforts to do it alone and only fail every time. Please consider a 3 month program it might save your life just as it did mine. Just saying I couldn't have ever done this on my will alone. Maybe you can but I don't wish 40 years of insanity on anyone like I went through. I am confident you will make the right decision whatever that may be.
Try this meeting it’s on zoom 24/7 AA women’s international meeting. Jump on whenever you can and listen or try to share. It’s a great support. Worldwide!
Meeting ID: 928 9414 8568
Password: Billw
I luckily found an intensive out patient program that accepted my Medicaid, if you CANT go away to rehab, IOP is a great option
@shelby326943 I don't know you yet I love you dearly. So I say this from my heart. Stop being the victim and the pity party.
You can do this. All it takes is the willingness to do so. I admire your courage to speak up and be vulnerable to us.
If you're doing this by yourself you'll be destined to fail over and over. Add me. If you are doing your sobriety with the help of a sponsor and have the faith and knowledge of a mustard seed about God (a power greater than you) then you'll succeed.
Again, if you have the willingness, which is willpower, to do it then anything is possible.
Yes, you better be worried about your job, baby goat (kid), your former husband as well as all the decisions you are about to make. They will have a direct effect on you.
You can do this.
Not many people can stop using on willpower, at least not sustain it anyway. That's why there are so many support programs and treatment centers. That's the only way most of us can get sober and stay sober. It might be stressful and cause you quite a bit of discomfort at first, but change is going to be difficult at first. Look at it as a down payment on an awesome life in sobriety. Trying to quit on your own will only bring more sickness, frustration, heartache, and very likely death. Don't fight it. Invest in your life, your future. You're worth it
One day at a time. Grateful that you made it through another day to keep trying, not everyone is so fortunate, as a chronic relapser. The suggestion I was given was to give myself a break and keep coming back. (I would suggest getting to some meetings and reaching out, so you don’t have to do it alone) prayers for you!
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